The Parent (Child, Luggage) Swap
I’m home! Alone. And not because I misplaced the children (again).
We decided to maximise the children’s stay with their relatives by using our latest family travel manoeuvre, which I’ve decided to call The Parent Swap after rejecting a long series of names that – believe it or not – were actually worse. I’m also thinking of trying The Swap on the children and jet lag problem at the suggestion of a genius friend (hi IJ!), especially after realising it can save us serious money.
Using The Parent Swap So The Children Stay Longer
The Parent Swap involves – I’ll just say it because you won’t guess – swapping parents. To give our children a nice, long stay, they journeyed out with the first parent (me) and will be coming home with the second parent (A), leaving a period of overlap in the middle where the whole family came together to share the diseases each party had picked up in their separate locations.
Previously, we’d sent the children with the stay-at-home parent (me) for an extended visit, with the work-at-office parent (A) dropping in for a shorter period, but this a) doesn’t work as well now I’ve got a job outside the home, and b) never allowed A the pleasure of handling both children at once on a long haul flight. He’s looking forward to it, I just know.
Using The Parent Swap To Tackle Jet Lag In Children
The idea with this is to give everyone the same length of stay, but staggered by roughly the amount of time it takes adults to make a functional recovery from jet lag – say three or four days.
The first parent would go off ahead and adjust to the new time zone whilst scouting out the destination, setting up accommodation, and giving stunning first impressions to any friends, relatives, or hotel/restaurant/tour staff we may encounter throughout our visit.
The second parent would follow with the kids, then hand them over to the first (recovered) parent until everyone was on the new time zone. Same on the way back, except swapping parents for fairness. Although you wouldn’t have to swap. I won’t tell you how to divide your parenting duties.
Of course, this works best if the trip begins and ends somewhere nice and safe and unchallenging, and not somewhere it would be a big problem to single-handedly wrangle young children whilst the other adult sleeps/scarpers off home.
Using The Swap To Save Money
The Parent Swap saved us hundreds of dollars on our Christmas visit, by taking three-quarters of the party out of the peak travelling period in each direction, whilst complying with the annual leave requirements of each adult. This meant more to spend on coffee (for my solo leg), wine (for my mum time), and future holidays (with the leave we still have).
Outside holiday periods, money can still be saved by booking all flexible passengers for less popular times or days.
The Child Swap
We may also consider splitting the children – letting the easiest/most enthusiastic traveller start first and finish last, or just staggering them slightly in the name of dividing to conquer. And… to… give them one-on-one attention from each parent.
The Luggage Swap
We took full advantage of our recent swap by loading the child-free parent up with as much luggage as possible. Things like gifts, souvenirs, odds and ends that Grandma accidentally left behind on her last visit, and no-longer-relevant items of travel kit all shipped with the parent who wasn’t toting the small people, as did all adult reading materials, because, well, let’s face it.
Booking The Swap Holiday
The only slight hitch (not counting the obvious sole-charge-of-two-children, or the less obvious husband-left-rubbish-in-bin-and-dirty-laundry-in-basket) (which probably should have been obvious, come to think of it) was that we had to book each itinerary separately, and websites generally freaked out at the idea of an apparently-unaccompanied two-year-old.
It took a real, live human to understand that we were planning to supervise our children, we were just assigning different supervisors to different legs of the journey. Many thanks to Qantas for sorting this out cheerfully by phone. They were able to put everyone’s tickets on hold to ensure (before booking and payment) that we could all travel on our selected flights, book our “unaccompanied” minors, and then link all the bookings appropriately at the end.
Travel Insurance Warning
If you’re planning to do this, make sure your family travel insurance plan will remain valid if you’re not travelling together on each leg of the journey. More help with family travel insurance fine print.
Completely Unrelated Announcement
I thought my Things We Learned The Hard Way tag was getting unnavigable, so I created an index page: Tips For Travelling With Kids. The comments section is open for anyone who wants to link their own advice.
But if you’d rather kick back with me and drink wine, I hear Piemonte won’t give you hangovers! You can’t say I never pass on anything worthwhile.
(A is also taking expressions of sympathy and encouragement.)
Pingback: Kids and Jet Lag – Your Sleep Issues Multiplied | Journeys of the Fabulist
This is a great idea. Wondering whether it would work with a baby plus a very fast 2 year old. Running away in strange places while I am carrying the baby is the toddlers speciality so two of us are usually required!
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Yeah, you’d have to have a plan for that. When I travelled alone with a baby and a toddler I used a harness for the toddler (I had a runner as well) although a stroller could do the trick. I did find he was less likely to run off when it was just me and it was a crowded, unfamiliar environment AND he’d been promised a *ride on a plane if he didn’t get lost*.
More thoughts on ushering young children around (focussing on the airport, but can be extrapolated) at this post which includes some very useful comments.
At the end of the day it’s all the same tricks as you use for a trip to the supermarket etc, just adapted slightly – so no need to be unreasonably intimidated!
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Ha thanks for the tips! I will check out the Post.So now all I need is the energy required to even book a holiday!
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Yeah, I can’t help you with that. (I’m not even that great at brewing coffee.) You’ll be ready when you’re ready!
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Ha yes. Plus haven’t got the budget right now anyway. but good things come to those who wait! So it will be the great British seaside this year I think!
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Where I come from, the great British seaside is considered exotic, so let’s not knock it!
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Such a great idea! How long did you get to be by yourself?
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About five days! It was really strange.
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Excellent idea – we need to try this out sometime. I can imagine though it was quite a pickle to explain to the airline. Glad you got it all sorted out.
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There was definitely a long pause after I explained it the first time, but then the guy swung into action and he was very professional and cheerful about it!
Something to keep in mind I guess – I won’t say it’s a must for every trip but it has its uses.
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Definitely – good to tuck away for when the need presents itself. Glad to hear you lucked out with a great customer service experience as well (always a plus!).
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This is an idea for considering definitely and a clever one! However, I still much prefer to travel and have holidays with everyone in the family. Somehow, I still much insist on wanting everyone to experience every moment we spend on the road and all. But, I totally agree that the swappings have many advantages!
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Yes, I imagine you’re not the only one. But we would have missed out on visiting my sister’s family in Tasmania if we hadn’t swapped, plus the Grandparents would have had a shorter visit. Maybe it depends where your family are! Plus I’m loving the rare opportunity of a few days to myself (just found out I have one extra hour due to flight delays! Poor Dad!)
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Brilliant! Passing this on to my daughter. But I am so, so glad I can enjoy my wine and the adult reading in peace 😀
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Wine and reading in peace is one of life’s great pleasures! Funny how the best things aren’t far from home. 🙂
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My hat off to you for going all these incredible places with your young children. I have a hard enough time keeping track of me, myself, and I on a trip. I always think of your blog when I see a toddler screaming and running amock two gates down from their parent(s) in the departures terminal.
P.S. I hope a major airline rep reads about Piemonte and starts serving it on board.
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I saw a boy doing just this in the gate lounge as I was sitting by myself and I could only smile! He was clearly just bursting with excitement about his plane ride but the parents were already looking in need of a stiff drink! I saw them after the flight, though, and everyone looked ok, so I think it worked out.
Piemonte would be a good addition to many flights.
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Now that is multitasked thinking…could the same thing be worked out for hangovers and small children??! A very Happy New year to you and yours! xxx
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Hm. I think you’re on to something there! The Designated Drunk Person.
Happy New Year to you as well!
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Great idea!
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The final test of the idea comes on the last flight home with Dad and the kids. I’ll let you know if there are any revisions!
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Te he nominado para e Blog of 2013 the Year, es un honor para mi.
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Thankyou!
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So you’re kind of a mad genius, eh? I don’t have kids just yet but I don’t plan on them grounding all future flights and adventures– so you’re a resource! You had me convinced early on but when you started talking about how the non-kid parent is responsible for the extra baggage I was in awe. Not kidding. I’ve done enough traveling with only myself to take care of that I can’t imagine what it would be like with small children! Glad it doesn’t seem to slow you down 🙂
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Genius is not the noun everyone chooses to couple with “mad” in describing me, but let’s stick with it for now.
(If the luggage impresses you, wait til you find out I’m having wine WITH ICE CREAM for dinner because nobody is around to watch me not-eat my vegetables! Did you freak out?)
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woah woah woah all I need now are tips on how to pair ice cream with the right wine…
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I don’t think I’m qualified to give those kinds of tips yet. Let me research a bit further.
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Love it, that might just be the solution for mum’s and dad’s jet lag problems! Also nice to see you are noble enough to give your husband the chance for quality time with kids on flight 😉
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I wouldn’t want him to miss out 🙂
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Good luck to A, first time flying solo with two is always the hardest.
My husband refuses to do two solo until my youngest is a “good flyer”. (Not a lap child, will AIT still in front of an iPad). However he will fly solo with the older one, so sometimes I’ll fly out with my daughter earlier and he’ll fly put with my son later.
Good luck and enjoy your adult time!
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That’s not a totally insane test to apply before flying solo with two (although I don’t count tiny babies – they’re not so bad – I’m talking mainly about that just-got-mobile age group).
You’ve done the divide and conquer! An old trick reinvented for the mobile era 🙂 .
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Absolutely genius! Cannot wait to do this once my 3 kids can actually sit in their own seats. Love it.
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Yes, they have to be old enough for one adult to manage on the journey. Or young enough to not cause too much trouble. There’s a period between learning to crawl and learning to be civilised where you need to carefully consider what you can handle alone and for how long!
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So smart! Enjoy your “me” time.
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Thanks! I’ll be having a quiet weekend.
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I love this idea! I ran into a child-traveling-alone conundrum with online flight booking once, too. Definitely need a live person to sort these things out.
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I have to say there was a bit of a confused pause at first even then but they were very good about it once it had sunk in. Computers just don’t understand these things though, do they?
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Sounds like a great idea to me… and as for the Piemonte wine, there’s plenty to go around!
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Great! Hand me another bottle then – I think I’m starting to run low already!
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Flying alone – sounds heavenly! I am scared this will be my future but with my husband always getting to do the alone legs since I will have so much more leave than him!!
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Well, you’ll have to work that out between yourselves! I have faith in your negotiating powers, though.
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I’ll just take the wine please! 😉
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No problem at all! I’ll get a few more glasses. Clearly there’s a few who didn’t drink too much over New Year (or they did, and they need a hair of the dog).
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Enjoy the vino (and peace while it lasts)!
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Thanks, I will!
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Such a great idea! Chad and I may have to consider this for when we visit the states. How much easier with just the child or just the luggage! And to have the house to yourself for a bit… Sounds heavenly ! 🙂
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It’s definitely worth considering, although the flight from here (ish) to the States is a lot longer – I might do it with one if a decent enough traveller, though. Not sure if I’d take both of mine together that far by myself… although getting the house to myself for a little bit…
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I cannot imagine how tired I would be taking two little ones on a flight by myself. One is easy… Well depending on what type of one they are 🙂
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I’m convinced it depends more on type than number 🙂 .
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I love it!!! Excellent idea, I almost want to have another kid just to try it out……that won’t be happening but I did have a brief thought! 🙂
I love the fact that both parents get some time alone on their holiday- brilliant. Welcome home, I’d love to drink a glass if vino with you 😉
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Crack it open. Although don’t let me talk you into having another child a few drinks in 🙂 .
I guess it’s not too necessary once they’re a bit older (once they can quietly read if they wake up at an inopportune time and control themselves adequately if overtired?? although I, myself, am still working on the latter at my age…).
You could still try it out for the alone-time :).
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