Work, Life, Singapore, Primary One School Registration, and Gaming The System
Just before we moved to Singapore I had this colleague who was very talented but didn’t know it. Every time he had to make a decision he second-guessed himself. He would spend ages pouring over textbooks when he could have been more productively employed getting on with the job, and pester up to three people with the same, minor query to gauge the balance of opinion, then pester them all again with a new, related query only five minutes later on.
One day I was handing over to him at the end of my shift when he asked me something more personal. “Do you ever feel like you’re just not on top of things?”
I looked at him over my clipboard and gauged his expression. Clearly, he was pretty down, even trending towards hopeless. He might have been wondering whether to throw it all in and take up full-time dole bludging, or pursue a life as one of those paid human guinea pigs they’re always banging on about in medical ethics.
As for me, I’d already clocked fifty hours without getting anywhere near the end of my work week, and if I didn’t leave in ten minutes I could add three quarters of an hour to my commute time due to peak hour traffic hitting the bottleneck over the river. I considered my words.
“C,” I said eventually, “if you don’t feel like that every day, you’re just not aiming high enough.”
I waited to see if this would have the desired effect. It did – he brightened, and nodded, and allowed us to return to the task at hand. Three minutes later I was sprinting for my car.
Afterwards, he told me how much better he’d felt reflecting on what I’d said. I would have brushed it off, but he not only stressed his gratitude through several repetitions, he went on to study for – and pass – his emergency medicine exams.
—
This week marks the final phase of school registration for primary one. As a foreigner who can’t do much except wait til everyone else has called dibs, I’ve been pretty much chilling out.
Many citizens of Singapore, on the other hand, have been positioning themselves for the best schools for years, through volunteer work and community leadership roles, or even household moves. Some have been madly discussing their registration strategy on kiasuparents.com (“because we not stupid too”):
…or at the school gate in front of P, who seems to have picked up on the flurry and grown somewhat concerned. “I want to go to an international school,” he announced suddenly, a few weeks ago.
I looked at him over the stroller and gauged his expression carefully. He seemed perturbed, and ready to dig his heels in. As for me, I’d already discussed the situation at length with everyone I could think of, and was not only happy with our decision, but kind of behind the game in terms of opportunities for international school applications. I considered my words carefully.
“Why’s that?” I asked.
“If I go to a local school, I won’t be able to understand the teacher.”
“They teach in English, just like at kindy! Except for the mother tongue lessons, which are taught in Chinese* – just like at kindy.”
“Yeah, but sometimes I can’t understand the teacher at kindy, because she has a different accent.”
“Because she has a different accent? P – earlier today we had the following conversation: ‘Hey P, could you tidy up your crayons?’ ‘What?’ ‘I said could you tidy up your crayons?’ ‘You want me to do what with my crayons?’ ‘Could. You. Tidy. Your. Crayons.’ ‘Could I what?’ Point is, I’m not sure the accent is your main problem. Anyway,” I bent down and took his hands as he scowled, “I’ve heard you with your friends. Think how well you speak Singlish to them.”
And he must have followed my advice to think on this, because when he opened his mouth again he was using his “kindy voice”: “Cannot!” he said. “Very difficult, lah. I not understand teacher, then how? Ah?”
“Yes P,” I said, standing up. “What you actually need to work on is your rhetorical technique.”
But just as I was about to move on, I thought of that colleague from my old job and a new reply occurred to me, so I bent down again and looked into P’s little face until he realised I was watching and met my eyes. “You know, you’re right. You’re almost certainly going to have trouble understanding the teacher.” He shifted position, both surprised and hopeful.
“It would happen at an international school, too. It happens to everyone. Everyone, everywhere, who ever goes to primary school, has trouble understanding the teacher at some point or other. It happened to me stacks of times – your father, too. You can minimise it by trying to pay attention, of course, but avoid it? No.
“So, P, the important question isn’t which school you go to, but what are you going to do about it?”
There was a pause while he considered. “I could put up my hand and ask the teacher to say it again?”
“Yes! Good. You could definitely do that. What else?”
“I don’t know.”
“You could ask one of your classmates?”
“I could ask one of my classmates.”
“Or sometimes you don’t have to ask, you just have to watch what everyone’s doing and you can work it out. You’ve had lots of practice at that. I’ve seen you join in games with kids when you don’t even speak the same language, just by watching and copying what they do.”
He nodded. I smiled. And I was just about to pat him on the shoulder and put the whole problem behind us when he piped up again: “But when I put up my hand to ask the teacher to say something again, she says I should have been listening the first time. And I’m not allowed to talk to my classmates in class, and I’m especially not allowed to copy them. I don’t want to go to a local school because I’m not going to understand the teacher and she’s going to get angry at me and she’s going to shout at me and punish me and I can’t help it and I just need to go to an international school.”
Does that mean I was aiming high enough? Because I clearly wasn’t on top of it.
—
Æ lives in a world where most problems can be solved with the right software, so last week, he introduced P to the game Portal. This follows a previous attempt to teach P good playground conduct using Sid Meier’s Civilization.
(“You have to think what would happen if you were playing CIV and you tried to attack the whole rest of the world all at once, and you didn’t even have a good General yet. It’d be like bringing this, kind of, cake knife to a gun fight.”
“There’s cake?”
“It’s metaphorical cake. The cake is a lie. Look, the point is you can’t win this battle through force – you’re going to have to try some other way. How else can you win CIV?”
“Through… scientific achievement?”
“Yes! Now you’re playing to your strengths. Go out into that sandbox and wow them with science! ….Or, wait! Make it monuments. Oh! And also fighting is wrong!”)
Since Portal is a game in which you navigate a sinister and controlling institution under the instruction of a dispassionate Artificial Intelligence who constantly tests you in order to assess the results and periodically reminds you that your whole life depends on figuring out the answers, I can see how it sprang to mind.
“The Enrichment Centre-” (they actually call it “The Enrichment Centre”) “-regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible. Make no attempt to solve it,” announced the AI.
Æ sat quietly as P tried anyway.
“Frankly, this chamber was a mistake. If we were you, we would quit now.”
“She’s just trying to trick me,” said P, and Æ grinned.
“No one will blame you for giving up. In fact, quitting at this point is a perfectly reasonable response.” Nuh uh.
“Quit now and cake will be served immediately.”
P and Æ exchanged glances, and almost imperceptible shakes of the head. Soon, P had solved the puzzle and reached the next chamber.
“Fantastic. You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism.”
Portal is P’s new favourite game ever, and you never know – it might work. At the very least it will teach him the word “emancipation“.
It’s normal for children to feel nervous about a big step like entering primary school – the nerves don’t concern us. His response does. What we want is for him to forge through to better things. I guess in our own way, we’re all trying to game the system.
—
*Mother-tongues come in a choice of Chinese, Malay, and Tamil.
Lest I paint all Singaporean parents with a cliched brush, allow me to give you Christy’s (fairly relaxed) thoughts on the primary school registration process, including details on how it all works.
Related:
We registered! It was fine. There were milkshakes, statistics, and imaginary guns.
Ha! Oh Bronwyn, patience is never gaurenteed. I recall when our kids were about 6 and 8 we were on a raod trip and thye were in fine form in teh back seat. No latter what I or their Mother said they would not calm down and were busy poking each other and yelling. I got so upset, I told them that was it, pulled the car over, got out and walked away. Ha! We were about 100 miles from home, so I couldn’t pitch them out and besides, their Mother was in the car with them. I walked out of sight for about 10 minutes and then walked back. They were sitting there with eyes as big as saucers and were quiet as can be for the rest of the trip. I should have thought of that earlier.
Anyway, I am really at a loss about the whole school competition thing. There was none of that when i went to school – you were in their area then you went to their school. I am baffled by all the choices and competition for schools. I suppose it is like everything else, a scamble for the top – but it seems excessive to me. I know that once you are in it, you have no choice, but I really wonder if there is any real improvement over the older school systems. Do the kids come out better educated? Anyone’s guess I suppose.
Interesting post Bronwyn. Thank You.
Oh, as an aside, I did a guest post over at Cordelia’s Mom today http://cordeliasmomstill.com/2014/09/04/red-stars-guest-post-by-paul-curran/comment-page-1/#comment-3275 . I’d be honored if you could find the time to drop by and have a read. Thank You.
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Fantastic post! I went ahead and shared it on twitter – it’s quite a story!
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Thank you so much Bronwyn! My head is swelling up.Ha! Thank you! (did I already say that? Oh well! Thank you!)
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Congratulations on getting registered! I hope it turns out to be a great school year.
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Thanks! Hopefully it’ll turn out. If it doesn’t, hopefully we can think of a better Plan B!
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Love how you seem to have an answer for P in most situations – even if it does not always work – love how P’s mind works.
I can see this topic of schools has raised already a fair few comments on your page.
Having just received an offer for my eldest to start into a public high school next year – the relief for all of us is so great this week! We spent all weekend celebrating i.e. an excuse to eat…
The issue of school is obviously universal and is such a stressful experience – I have seen kids pushed so hard, tutored, enrolled in all possible extra curricular activities to sit entrance tests and or offered interviews etc. And this is just for public schools… This leaves so little time for kids to be everyday kids and actually enjoy childhood.
As we did not grow up in Australia we did not have the history, of my mum or dad went to such and such a private school, so you are already at a disadvantage. The need a child to attend the same school as a parent is crazy even at the cost of the child – as sometimes families seem to fail to assess what would actually suit their child. Ie don’t put your son is the sportiest school if you child hates sport… etc. It has been a real eye opener…for now I am just happy that my son will be attending a high school next year..Then we have the next issue of ridiculous university costs in Australia but that is another topic..
Good luck to P as he embarks on the next step of his school journey!
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Oh, university costs in Australia – that is definitely another topic. I squeaked through before the costs went up, my youngest sister wasn’t so lucky. But then you hear what they charge international students…. let’s not get started!
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Hi Bronwyn. I am going to break with comment protocol and ignore the main message of your as usual eloquent post but I have been trying to figure out what sort of work you do for ages. I suspect it is declared obviously on your blog somewhere and in my sleep deprived fuzz I am missing it. After reading this post and seeing that you (or at least your colleague) works in A and E I have just checked AHPRA’s register for you – not found it, and realised that Bronwyn Joy may in fact be a blog pseudonym. Are you in fact a secret Dr unlike me who yells it from the rooftops because my blog started as a way to enter into the talkspace RE travel health. If the answer is yes please message me on Facebook what it is like working there as would love to know. Alternatively you can tell me if we get a chance to coffee meet when I visit Singapore next year. If I am barking up the complete wrong tree here apologies – would still love to know what work you do as any mum doing more than 50 hours a week is a superhero as far as I am concerned.
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I haven’t done 50+ hours a week since having kids! That was a story from just before mumdom. I’ve worked part time only since then.
I’m a vet, hence why you won’t find me on the doctor’s register. If you want to know about being a doctor in Singapore I have a friend who is now living back in Australia who worked here as a doctor – I could probably introduce you by Facebook or something. She’s very nice. Otherwise I can only tell you animal stories 🙂
I’ve never minded going off-topic in the comments. 🙂
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Animals are so much more interesting than people! I am just a teeny, tiny bit scared of them though…. Glad you aren’t doing 50 hour weeks with kids. Way too hard. Our dentist has a 3 yr old and does them – don’t know how she copes.
When we moved back to Melbourne we discovered we are “too late” to enrol our then 5 year old in private high schools here – he was supposed to be enrolled the year he was born. All craziness as far as I am concerned.
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Could you please do long distance chat with my kids when the conversation gets tricky? You ARE the child whisperer!
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But it totally didn’t work! That’s the trouble. It just sounded awesome to me. It’s very frustrating when you think you’ve nailed it for once and it turns out that no, nothing.
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Hmm, so much to discuss about the system but that would take up a whole different level. All I can say is congrats (hopefully…:)) on finally making it that far and good luck for the first day of school. I was a very obedient student during primary school and my fondest memory of first day in P1 was throwing up all over myself during assembly time. Nerves, I suppose…:) Good thing they allowed parents to stay within the school ground during the first few days…:)
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Go ahead if you want to take it to a different level. I’ve got a lot more thinking than this on it but I’m already pushing it when it comes to boring people silly on this one – but you won’t bore me. You know I’m still considering our backup plan for if things really don’t work out.
The vomiting on the other hand doesn’t much worry me. Boy, you must have been super-nervous!
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Hahaha…maybe it is easier to have the discussion as a separate post because discussion goes on all levels..from ways to get a place, competition from all around, government policies, coping with the curriculum, etc etc. It’s a topic that just has many debatable elements to it.
On just one aspect, all I can say is that I am a product of that very education system having gone through it all the way till university. While there are points that I do agree with, my own experience through the system also speaks for itself.
The competitiveness of getting a place in a school has kicked to such a level that I sometimes wonder whether I really want my kids in such q school and whether it really benefits them by stressing myself and the kids by making them go through the curriculum there.
On the other hand, I personally feel that I have also benefited from being in a more privileged placement and yet, to a certain extent, the pressure to perform and excel did get to me too. I was not really one to excel academically, especially when your competitors are all smarter than you.
I suppose it really boils down to your own personal ideals. Because there are definitely pros and cons to our system so I suppose it depends on which side you weigh in.
As much as we wish it can be flexible to accommodate all types of students, unfortunately, we don’t really have much of a choice in this. Although I do believe that there have been improvements since my school days.
I do have very fond memories of my school days though…including that first day of school incident…I imagine after cleaning up after your kids for so long, what’s another accident. My mum actually had a spare uniform at hand on that day…hahaha…:)
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Haha – she was a pro!
Yes, I’m a bit worried if the system will be flexible enough for him (or really just suitable enough – if it’s suitable no flexibility required!). I’ve heard there have been big changes since the “good old days” of Singaporean schools to try and accommodate a broader range of (what are we calling it nowadays?) “learning styles” but not sure how far that goes. I guess your experience isn’t that far back though – still looking young and fresh there 🙂
I have to say our school system was not always great at working with different types either, I feel. Perhaps they “tolerated” students who didn’t fit in better than the Singaporean cliche but I wouldn’t say they actually helped them (and by extension, the rest of the class) very much – although there’s obviously variation between schools and also teachers. In some cases I think a little less tolerance wouldn’t have gone astray!
I would say as a family we’re clarifying our ideals at this stage in response to the feedback we get from the system. So at the parent teacher interviews some compliments/criticisms get to us and some don’t and that speaks a lot. Whether the school we end up with fits well with these ideals – well, we’ll try to choose wisely but our choice is pretty narrow at this point and it’s a bit hard to tell before you front up I think.
I can also see our focus changing as P matures, so I’m not sure how that works out.
But there are definitely a lot of good things about the local system. I do like the higher academic standards (I think ours are too low for the average kid) though I hope we can avoid some of the related stress.
I’m very reassured to hear that overall you had fond memories, though 🙂
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Hahaha..no matter what I believe that you will always have fond memories of your school days…after all, as kids, we do tend to think more simply but it makes it fun to reminiscence whether good or bad…and yes, thanks for thinking I’m still young and fresh…hahaha…
All I can say is that the government always has good intentions but it may not always come to fruitation as they expect. Each change introduced is definitely with the intention to get better. I personally feel though that they forget there are many variables that can affect this such as student-teacher ratio, teachers’ workload, managing expectations, different school culture, etc…departments in a company may run along the same goals but the path taken depends on who’s driving the people in the department…
At best, I would agree with you to be in constant contact with his teachers..even if it’s not during parents-teaching meeting..there is no harm in establishing a relationship with them…at least the teacher is aware of your concern and can look out a little for him…well, as best as she can, I suppose. My parents didn’t really have high expectations of my studies so long as i pass so at least i didn’t have to deal with pressure from both ends..
And I agree that your choices are pretty limited, I find myself frustrated over all these new regulations myself, considering I have other non-singaporean friends but that is the way the government is going for now. Who knows, maybe they’ll revert back after the elections…hahaha…:)
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Who knows what will happen after the election? Voters always like to think they will but sadly not strictly the case!
Contact with the school is a good thing to think about. I seem to recall from my own primary school days that the kids of the parent classroom volunteer were allowed to get away with murder (they only did it when mum wasn’t around of course) and the teacher was too afraid to tell them off for fear of losing mum’s support, so they terrorised the classroom to the point where one poor girl ended up being removed by her parents to another school just to get away from them.
Hm. Not the most uplifting parent volunteer story, but it does go to show what you can get away with if you’re in good with the teacher…
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Lol, my mum was pretty active in volunteering at my younger siblings’ school. My mum being herself, she pretty much ingrained herself into their school life such that she got pretty regular updates just by talking…so I would say, go for it…although I’m not too sure whether students do get away with more things…hahaha…:)
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I would hope not to that extent!
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Some get the kids baptized for a better chance at a Catholic school? So crazy lah! I was so unaware of the school registration madness going on… I’m not sure if that’s good or bad (being unaware, I mean). I love the choices you took, the reasons for which you took them, and the way you handled P’s worries. I am envious of your “can can” attitude 🙂
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I had a friend in Brisbane who didn’t like their local school but was having trouble getting into one outside the suburb. A Catholic school was busy telling her they were pretty much full but then the woman on the phone asked if she was actually Catholic? Apparently she said, “It depends… would that help?” and the conversation went downhill rather fast after that. 🙂
You should try to stay out of the school madness as much as possible, I think! The minimum standard at local schools is pretty high and unless you’re PR at least there’s not much you can do anyway.
I have been trying really hard with the “can” attitude. It would be great if it had the desired effect every time…
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Oh I couldn’t even if I wanted to. It’s just not in me and I honestly do consider it complete insanity. I went to 11 different schools before going off the to college, and even though they weren’t all “the best”, they did me good. I learned something very important everywhere I went.
Like you said, it’s not the school we go to but rather what we’re going to do about it.
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Eleven schools!
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Yeah. We moved around a lot. It wasn’t fun for me back then, but I learned to appreciate this experience as I grew older. But yeah. No fun.
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It’s funny how we think differently about things looking back. And also reassuring to know that what’s not fun at the time can seem not-so-bad in hindsight. I haven’t done the moving a lot thing, but I can name other experiences that have benefited from being in the past, if you know what I mean!
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I also love how you handled P’s concerns.
We actually just had some stress waiting to see if S was accepted into our choice of school (for 2016!). Thankfully it didn’t take as much strategising as in Singapore. Although kinder is more like that as we don’t have a local one so have to wait to see what is leftover for us. I’m glad we just decided to live in Asia next year so at least that no longer matters! Except now it is going to be even tougher to get our youngest into kinder the following year. It’s all a bit crazy!
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I have skimmed your first paragraph so many times in excitement for you and keep getting interrupted. So the details are you’re planning to head back for 2016, or at least keeping the options open? No don’t tell me – I’ll click through 🙂
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Lol yeah we definitely plan on returning when our oldest starts school in 2016. We just paid a big deposit, we love the school and it’s bilingual (90% of the time in another language in prep!), so she can only enter the school in prep. There is of course a small chance we might change our mind but it would be really hard to knock back such a great opportunity as Melbourne will always be our home.
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What a great idea using portal to teach problem solving under pressure! There were many hours played of portal in our house. Many many hours. Not by me, I was lucky enough to watch haha. It’s so hard to know what to say sometime to soothe our kids, or others for that matter. It takes a lot of empathy and thought. Great job. 🙂
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Portal! Somebody who knows exactly what I’m talking about 🙂
Yeah, I don’t think I really nailed it that day. And you know, it felt so right coming out of my mouth, too – I thought it was one of my best efforts. But it didn’t land.
So the update tonight is that his friend at school has talked him into thinking the local school is a good idea because they can go together. So let’s hope that plan works out! We’ll try and register at the same school so it’s all about how many places vs applicants.
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I hope it all works out perfectly! 🙂
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Are you still awake? YOU SHOULD NOT BE STILL AWAKE.
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What?! it’s only 11:14 pm here. 🙂
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I have my time zones wrong – I was going in the wrong direction 🙂
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Oh okay! I was going to ask you the same question then, haha!
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Yeah, I’m really up too late – but tomorrow is my morning off when both kids go to school early together. Not sure what my excuse is the other days 🙂
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You are surely a model parent in my eyes. I love to read your exchanges with P. So candid and a good coach. Not only to your little ones but your friend. Just this morning, my hubby was reminding once again about my out of the world spoken English. He always says I speak from the middle of a sentence as though leaving the first part in my brain and forgot to blurt them out. We will be having a domestic helper for the very first time (oh my, it’s actually a fresh piece of news and you are one of the first to know in the internet lol!), and he told me that the helper would probably have difficulty understanding my instructions since I speak out of the world English. I admit I write better than speak it out. (Hope I will never embarass myself in front of you!) So, now your conversation with P reminds me that I answer impatiently and give short replies to the kids. No wonder, the problem or issue was never really solved. Most likely, they do not understand much or never ever get provoked into deeper thoughts with my short replies.
Anyway, that aside, I wish you luck in Phase 3. I am looking forward to your sharing on the Singapore school system once P is into it. I am sure you will have lots of thoughts on that which I can learn a thing or 2 🙂 Recently, I have been trying to stop the “kiasu” self in me and accept that XX probably is better in other arenas than in paper chase. It’s not really a bad thing especially I see her excel in almost everything she’s learning other than the books. To each his own. I am still trying hard to be as laid back as I wish I can be.
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Well always bear in mind what I’m not telling you 🙂 .
Helper! That will be a household change. I do know the feeling with starting halfway through a thought (apparently I do that a lot, too – maybe slightly different, in that I leave sentences out of paragraphs, I’m told…. but there are so many interruptions!). Anyway, everyone writes better than they speak. 🙂
But one of the great things this year is that the kids are in separate sessions at school so I can have them one on one. Only for this year! Some people think it’s crazy because it’s easy to have a few hours completely off, but this has its advantages, too.
As for your daughter and her paper-chasing talents, I don’t know if I’ve told you the story of two of my friends who were never much at school but they picked up late (late high school for one/tertiary education for the other) and now they’re doing very well. (I can tell you some reverse stories of “star students” who never amounted to much, too.) Encouraging stories if ever you need them 🙂
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Thanks for the encouragement! The helper is a BIG change. Just the thought of having a stranger in the house scares me.
For bonding time, I think one on one is good and easier. You will have more quality time and the kids probably love to have total attention from you. But, it’s also true that having a few hours to ourselves is tempting.
I have many friends around me who are late boomers or rather have much success later in life compare to early academic success if there is. It’s a mindset thing again. I am gradually accepting her limits and strengths. And I am starting to feel more relax because of this acceptance. I think I can be really laid back afterall 🙂
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I’m sure you can. Blogging it out helps (me) too.
I have started taking some babysitting time on Wednesdays this month for some study – have to admit a few hours a week just to focus really makes a big difference. I notice it when I’m at work – the extra focus time during the week helps me focus there as well. You know how kids beak your focus so often you forget how to do it?
Anyway, I’ll be looking out for your experience with your new helper. 🙂
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Do you engage baby sitters here? Having a few hours off from the kids do help one to have a clearer mind. Doing some study with young kids is tough I feel. But always good to upgrade knowledge 🙂
I will be sure to blog about the experience. Hopefully it’s a good experience! Totally new to me! 😛
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It is actually remarkably hard to get permanent part-time child care in Singapore! In fact that is a complaint I have – there’s not an ideal solution for a parent working my hours (unless family is near), whereas it’s common enough in Australia and the setup is there. Singapore it’s more all-or-nothing.
I had a teenager coming around to give an extra pair of hands once a week at one stage, but that was before I started back at work. We do have a helper now. Between my long/late-ish shifts, Æ’s travel, short-notice shifts, distance from family, and the way the childcare centres work it was just the only option that made sense.
But it’s kind of weird and OTT for us, really, since I’m not full time. I find myself spending a lot of time making sure she doesn’t tidy up the kids’ rooms. She spends a lot of time hanging out on Facebook or meeting up with friends or studying at my insistence. I spend a lot of time complaining about the stressful packing experience I had with the kids running underfoot all day and Æ spends a lot of time questioning why I’d choose to do it that way, given the option 🙂
I do yell a lot less (and explain more) because things are generally more under control. I can do marking work from home in the evening instead of catching up on housework like what used to happen, and I much prefer marking to mopping. 🙂 We cook proper meals instead of scrambled eggs or hawker food, and we’ve managed some DIY. Our TV consumption has decreased quite a lot!
I had to think long-term about how much work to give over, though, because it sounds nice to laze around but then you have to think what that’s teaching, and we’ve found some unexpected dynamics. Especially when it comes to discipline (oh so there’s a topic in itself and probably the main reason I end up doing stuff myself – go on, get me started on that one).
Anyway, you’re in a slightly different position because you’re full time at work rather than part time – but I’d love to hear your thoughts as you go along.
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There are pros and cons in having a helper. We’ll see how it goes. One of the things I am afraid is I end up with another burden or somehow I am still not as relaxed as I should be. Whatever the case, I need to adjust my mindset and remember that it was worse before :p
I am surprised at no permanent part time care for children. I think you are referring to flexible drop off and pick up in the day. Now, maybe someone should start one like that! A biz idea! I can only think of the indoor playgrounds but those have no nannies to look after. How does it work in Australia?
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It’s the flexible pick up and drop off, but also a lot of centres don’t “officially” do part time care (as of a couple of years ago none in our area did). A friend who lives nearby did eventually manage to convince one centre to take her daughter once a week under “emergency care”.
There’s the option of private, part-time nannies, but I think the first part of the problem is that relatively few people actually work part time. Then on top of that so many people have helpers (and it’s a lot more common for Grandparents to be involved in child care, too) so of the (relatively few) parents who do work part time, hardly any of them are looking for part time/casual child care from outside the household.
So when you start trying to ask someone to take your child for one or two days they sort of blink at you and ask what you expect them to do for the rest of the week. 🙂
The teenage babysitter is less common as well. Don’t know if that’s different for you as a local but the kids are under a lot more pressure at school here and don’t seem to take on after-school jobs. But maybe you can find someone more easily if you are more connected to the local community (in Australia you could go through an agency for that kind of casual work, though, so you wouldn’t need a connection). Our teenage baby sitter was a foreigner who’d already finished high school and was in a temporary gap which didn’t last long and we found her through a personal connection.
In Australia where it’s really common for parents to be looking for part time care outside the household there are plenty of people/centres who will just juggle the hours between however many kids are on the books, and there are always teenagers or uni students looking to earn part time cash, too. When surveyed, it was found most of our uni class had casual jobs working 10-20hrs/week and a proportion of that was casual child care (my friend and I used to do after school care for primary school kids).
And then, after part time day care centres, a large pool of casual babysitters available through either personal connections or agencies, and part time private nannies (my mother worked as one of these when we were older) – most primary schools also have a before/after school program. So that’s a lot of affordable options out there for parents who want part time care that I just don’t see in Singapore because the demand/supply just doesn’t work the same way. For full-time parents, yes, day care and private nannies, but not so much if you just want one or two days a week.
And then if I’m going to be coming home at 9+pm you can cut me out of the day care centre option anyway 🙂 And we still have some specific problems which, well suffice to say there are some kids you can hand over to others without too much trouble and then there are other kids who are more challenging and you just can’t drop them wherever with whoever and go.
So good luck with your business plan – that’s how I see the economics of it from my angle! If you have a local’s-eye view of what I’ve missed fill me in.
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Some of the expatriates I worked with in Singapore (and Hong Kong) did send their children to local schools and in doing so they did their children a favour. It was hard at the time but later on those children, now adults, have skills that made it possible for them to deal with businesses in China and of course deal more practically with the Chinese diaspora scattered around the world who link with each other in business. Big business! we started out with a car in Singapore, but the cost of maintaining it each year wasn’t worth it and their transportation system is so good and relatively cheap.
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Glad to hear you say that about the schools! Obviously the type of system you go for is always a debate. I think at the end of the day you do have to suck it and see a bit but we’ll be very happy if the local system works out.
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I feel your pain. On one hand, I am lucky enough to live in one of the few towns in California that has only one choice in public school, and my son would automatically go there should I choose to do nothing. On the other hand, it’s not a great school. Not bad, but not great. So begins the great school hunt. Do we go private? Do we try a charter school? Do we move to be in a better school district and risk the lottery system other towns have? It’s enough to paralyze someone in indecision. You have a great attitude about all of it, hope your kids inherit that feature. Good luck!
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I’m trying so very very hard not to have a bad attitude about it since I did hate primary school quite a lot and unfortunately I think I’ve mentioned this within earshot of P (though not in 2014 so far as I can remember? – trying hard).
But yes it’s hard to stay calm when everyone else seems so worried. There’s just fairly little I can do from down here at the end of the queue, though, and the minimum standard of schools here is quite high.
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I was going to say good luck with your choice as well!
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Minecraft step aside: it’s time for Portal. You’ve made me realize I could really use to up my patenting game. I need to get psychological. I need to go deep the war, rather than the battle in mind.
Well done to all of you. When does school start?
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I have to backpedal slightly on this one, because since drafting this post on Monday I’ve spent a long time trying to argue the evils of utilitarianism with P, who seems to have developed some sort of Stockholm Syndrome style relationship with the AI.
Those not familiar can get an insight from the song:
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Something deep and meaningful and strange in there!
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Do you know, it was a really interesting discussion, although I think it’ll take him many years to piece it together fully.
Did you listen to the song? P was reasoning that it was sort of true that doing science for the greater good was a worthwhile aim and after all, the robot didn’t mind getting burned as long as it benefited everyone so maybe…?
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Oh! And school starts in January.
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Bronwyn you are the essence of parental patience and understanding. I am so thankful I didn’t know you when my children were small or I would have always been feeling inadequate I am afraid. 🙂
I do recall the nerves around school starting and it usually seemed that within the first day all had settled. As in most of life the anticipation of what might happen is very rarely how it works out.
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Ha. You didn’t see me on the weekend. A actually sat P down on the weekend and explained that although I kept my temper better than some, once angered I really needed to be left alone for a long, long time (you can fill in the blanks here).
So now of course the first thing P wants to know when he meets someone is whether they lose their temper quickly or slowly, which is never the most optimistic start to a conversation with a six year old.
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Bronwyn when things got bad with my kids I gave myself a time out. Often I actually walked out the door on to the street. Your P sounds like quite the guy. So very smart.
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How long did it take til you came back? Because on the weekend I was thinking at least twenty-four hours. Perhaps even a month? 🙂
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Well there is this thing about social services being called if one is gone too ling so typically a few minutes walking in front of the house. Enough to cause them to think they had pushed me to the edge.
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🙂 Clearly I’m going to have to get quicker at calming down.
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