Dealing With Customer Service In Eight Easy Lessons, None Of Which Involve A Machete
I won’t go into the sordid details which prompted me to write this post. Suffice to say that if you’re a traveller, an expat, a parent, a member of civilisation, or a person who occasionally orders things off the internet and later expects them to be delivered, at some point you’ll find yourself dealing with Customer Service.
Until last week, I felt less than competent in this area, but having just helped a newb grapple with a conundrum the likes of which happen pretty much all the time, I suddenly realise my sense of incompetence stems from the demoralising nature of the task, and not from an actual lack of know-how. In fact I have a moderate amount of know-how gleaned from both sides of the customer service equation, and I will summarise it here. Please feel free to fill in the gaps, share alternative experiences, or go all Advanced-Customer-Service Fu on my itty little backside.
Before You Start – Understanding Your Customer Service Agent
Contrary to cliche, your customer service agent wants to help you. It’s just that she/he also wants to please the boss (who wants to please his or her boss, and at some point maybe also the shareholders), sort out other customers, keep a job, have an ok day at work, and maybe, at some perfectly reasonable point, clock off and go home.
LESSON NUMBER ONE: your best chance of resolving your problem is to align as many of these goals as possible. If helping you means screwing over other customers, getting into trouble with the boss, or putting up with harassment, things are less likely to go in your favour. Sometimes conflicts between one goal and another can’t be helped, but mostly, yes they can.
This will work better:
Customer: Hi there. I’m looking for a certain product and/or service. Do you usually offer it, or a suitable alternative? If not, would you consider offering it for a mutually agreeable fee or do you know somebody who would?
This will be less effective:
Customer: Hi there. I’m looking to make the whole world revolve around me in ways that are unreasonable or, perhaps, scientifically impossible. Can I abuse you and your colleagues while all your other customers stand, neglected, in the queue behind me?
Never Ask To Speak To A Supervisor
Unfortunately it’s often true that your customer service agent wants to help you, but they are poorly trained or otherwise powerless. When this becomes clear to you, you will be tempted to ask to speak to a supervisor. I have rarely had any success asking to speak to a supervisor and do not recommend it.
When you ask to speak to a supervisor you immediately come across as the type of adversarial customer your agent’s supervisor will probably hate them for referring through, and your agent will therefore actively work to prevent you from speaking to anyone about anything, including (if possible) themselves for a moment longer. In any case, the customer service agent’s powerlessness may extend to not being allowed to transfer you to any higher authority until they have completed their script.
LESSON TWO: in my experience, the quickest way through is to stick patiently to the script. When the customer service agent gets to the end of it, they’ll not only be “allowed” to call on a supervisor, the script may automatically prompt them to do so.
This way is faster:
Customer: Hi! I’m having a problem getting hot water to come out of one of my taps. The hot water system is fine because all the other taps are dispensing hot water. I’ve been using taps all my life and this particular one for about five years and I usually have no problems with it.
Service: Well let’s see. Have you tried twisting your tap so that there is water coming out of it?
Customer: Yes, I’ve done that.
Service: Have you checked to make sure the “on” tap is the “hot” tap?
Customer: Yes.
Service: Have you turned the hot tap on by itself, when the cold tap is definitely not on?
Customer: Yep.
Service: And you’re absolutely sure you didn’t have both taps on at once, but the cold one on harder? Can you double check that for me right now?
Customer: Absolutely. Give me a moment…. Ok…. Both taps are off. I’ve located the tap with the red on it, which usually dispenses hot water. Now I’m turning that one on while leaving the blue tap alone…. and…. still cold…. nope…. just cold.
Service: Thanks for checking that for me. I’m going to pass you on to my supervisor.
This way, believe it or not, is usually slower:
Customer: Hi! I’m having a problem getting hot water to come out of one of my taps. The hot water system is fine because all the other taps are dispensing hot water. I’ve been using taps all my life and this particular one for about five years and I usually have no problems with it.
Service: Well let’s see. Have you tried twisting your tap so that there is water coming out of it?
Customer: Alright, I know how to use a tap, okay? Can I speak to your supervisor?
Of course, sometimes your customer service agent will complete their script without either solving your problem or being prompted to hand over to someone who knows what they’ re doing. In this case, I still don’t recommend asking for a supervisor.
LESSON THREE: when escalation is required but not offered, I have better luck if I ask the kind of leading questions which “magically” cause people to come to my conclusions “all by themselves”.
Like this:
Service: Ok. So you’ve confirmed that the tap is on, that it’s the right tap, and that there’s no interference from water running out of the adjacent cold tap. I’m going to give you the number for a hot water system expert.
Customer: Alright, that’s super. Can I just ask, though – if the hot water system is broken, is it usually specific to just one tap, or does it affect all the taps linked to the broken system?
Service: Uh, I’m not sure. Can I put you on hold? [hold music] Alright are you there? Yes, usually if the hot water system is broken, all the taps linked to that system will be affected.
Customer: Ok, so in this case, where they’re all working fine except this one tap, are we thinking it’s just a really really unusual type of hot water system problem, or is it more likely to be something to do with that tap?
Service: Um… ok, I’m going to transfer you to my supervisor.
Customer: Thanks so much.
As opposed to this:
Service: Ok. So you’ve confirmed that the tap is on, that it’s the right tap, and that there’s no interference from water running out of the adjacent cold tap. I’m going to give you the number for a hot water system expert.
Customer: But it’s not a problem with the hot water system.
Service: In a case where the tap is on, it’s the right tap, and there’s no interference from water running out of the adjacent cold tap, the most likely cause of the problem is a broken hot water system.
Customer: But- Ok, look. Can I just speak to a supervisor?
One Question Only
It doesn’t matter how clearly you speak or how well you format your emails, your average customer service agent will only deal with one question at a time. If you ask more than one, they will simply choose whichever is the most fun to answer, and ignore the rest.
If, for example, you write the following email enquiry (including all formatting):
Dear Customer Service Agent,
Hi! I was just browsing your website, and I’d like to ask THREE questions about your product before I place my order.
1. How much would it cost to order a single unit and have it shipped to Singapore?
2. Does it come in other colours? (I’m not too fussy but I wanted to ask just in case.)
3. If I order within the next forty-eight hours, will it be delivered within the next two weeks? This is really important because it’s a gift for my older sister, who will be leaving in two weeks on a humanitarian mission to treat victims of a highly contagious and very deadly disease, and may never return.
Regards,
Me
You will typically get the following response:
Dear Me,
Thank you for your recent enquiry. We are pleased to advise that our product is available in three colours: red, green, and magenta.
We look forward to serving you,
Customer Service Agent
LESSON FOUR: for smaller companies with few customer service agents, choose your most important question and ask that first. Upon reply, you may follow up with your second question, and so on. If you are writing to a large company with hundreds of customer service agents, consider writing each question into a separate, simultaneous email.
Same Same, Not Different
Just because two things are functionally or in some other way equivalent, doesn’t mean they’re the same. I mean it sort of does from many viewpoints, but not (importantly) from the viewpoint of your typical customer service agent.
LESSON FIVE: Do as you’re told. Exactly and precisely as you’re told.
If you find yourself thinking this:
Customer: I know they said I should send a detailed autobiography, prints of all ten fingers, retinal scans, and a cheek swab for DNA processing, but surely for their purposes it would be ok if I sent a detailed autobiography, prints of all my currently attached fingers, retinal scans, and a cheek swab for DNA processing?
You should probably change your tune to this:
Customer: Autobiography – check. Retinal scans – check. Cheek swab – check. Now I just have to track down the finger I accidentally chopped off in tenth grade so I can get its print and I’ll be able to open a local bank account.
Basic Record Keeping
Any problem which is not resolved within TWO exchanges needs to be carefully documented. This is not only so you can keep track of who said what to whom when, but also so you can use the magic of copy and paste to ease the email writing process.
Wrong:
Customer: I’ve been trying to resolve this for months! I must have spoken to fifty different people! Why doesn’t anyone seem to know what’s going on?
Not wrong:
Customer: I’ve been trying to resolve this since roughly 10:30am (GMT) on the the 16th of June. So far, I’ve spoken to Cindy, Cecil, Darren, Doreen, and Ferdinand. A summary of these discussions follows…
LESSON SIX: Be the person who knows what’s going on. It’s foolish to rely on the other party. Write down the date, time, method of communication, name of person with whom you communicated, questions asked, answers given, and actions taken.
Where To Stick Your Opinion
Anybody who can get sidetracked from telling you how much something costs and whether it can be expected to reach you before your sister goes off to face certain death is going to derail rapidly if you so much as question their tone of voice.
LESSON SEVEN: stick to the point. Keep your opinions to yourself until after you’ve solved the problem. Then give everyone all your opinions. Detailed and specific observations on what went well in a customer service experience are just as helpful and much better appreciated than constructive, yet negative criticisms. But at the very least, don’t burn your bridges with a long rant until you’re sure you’re done.
Your customer service agent will stay on track more easily if you say:
Customer: So you’re not sure which documents I need, who I should give them to, whether I should really be wearing this tie with this shirt, or if there’s any ongoing point to existence. But you can tell me you’ve lost my passport. What do you think the best solution would be here?
But will completely drop the ball in order to focus on the fact that you actually sent them *too many* fingerprints if you say:
Customer: So you’re not sure which documents I need, who I should give them to, whether I should really be wearing this tie with this shirt, or if there’s any ongoing point to existence. But you can tell me you’ve lost my passport. Well, in my opinion this whole operation is a farce. And I am not a big fan of the genre.
Take Two
Most companies, even small ones, have more than one customer service agent, and often they don’t communicate very well with each other.
LESSON EIGHT: when all else fails, it can be worth simply starting again with a different person to see if you can get a better outcome.
It’s incredible how often this gets results:
Customer: I see. Well, thanks anyway, Company X Representative. I appreciate your time.
Customer: [beep bip boop bip bap] Hello? Is this Company X? Yes, I have a problem and I wonder if you can help me out…
–
Go on. Tell me your secrets. Especially the customer-service or bureaucracy-related ones (and the really juicy ones). I am also seeking comments on any subject in rhyme.
I love Lesson 5! LOL! It’s true on all of them, especially the one with asking just one question. I do not know why people do not answer all questions in their reply. Which really makes me feel such a long-winded person in the end. And I feel lousy because I am not treated seriously with my questions. Anyway, customer service is a tough job. Not easy when one person has to deal with tens to hundreds of different character people in a day, not to mention some people really ask weird questions. My empathy with them even though I am half the time almost pulling the machete coz of them!
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It’s definitely a tough job and I think half the problem is sometimes companies don’t realise how tough (or in exactly what ways) and therefore they don’t put in the support and training. You can definitely tell when the person you’re talking to has the proper backup!
But yes – the questions. Apparently that’s not just a customer service thing, but happens at Æ’s work as well.
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The selective answering happens at my work too. It’s the person, not exactly the occupation, although it may happen more frequent with the latter 😛
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My expectations when dealing with CS are always low, so any positive experiences exceed my expectations.
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That’s one way to prepare mentally for customer service: lowered expectations.
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I was shocked to find CS in sunny (cheerful California) the polar opposite of what it is in (rainy, cold) NYC. We have the BEST CS out here. Our money back, NO ques asked, virtually everywhere. So your list will probably apply in NY. =) I like how you switched over to “my” theme. I’ve loved it for my site. Yours looks great for all your nifty photos, what I have neither the time nor inclination (and eye) for.
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California needs to go out and teach the world. Not too much to ask, is it?
Ooh, is this your theme? Great minds etc 🙂 The photos do add an extra piece of work but I obviously find it more fun than you do.
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Ha ha ha what’s fun for you will be fun for your readers. =)
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This was a great read. And I’m so glad I found it, given it didn’t show up in my Reader. What is up WordPress? I followed you a week ago, and have yet to see a single one of your posts in my reader. Technology. What’s the customer service # for WordPress??
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No idea about the reader. Grr wordpress. Can’t complain too much – on balance they’re usually ok for me so far but you do get the odd glitch… I switched over to feedly as I was having similar problems too often.
In the meantime, glad you liked the post!
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“Can I just ask, though – if the hot water system is broken, is it usually specific to just one tap, or does it affect all the taps linked to the broken system?”
Is this like the Jedi mind trick of dealing with customer service?
Oh and I shudder to think what problem caused you to learn so much about customer service.
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It’s the accumulated wisdom of years of both being a customer and dealing with clients.
Jedi mind trick: I like that description. Although I think Jedis are probably more awesome than that. Basically I think it’s just people resisting bossiness but responding well if gently led through the logic of the situation.
I will say that sometimes bursting into tears works as well. Logos/pathos.
The latest update is we may have sorted the problem out. I’ll believe it when the needed items are in the rightful hands.
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You make it sound so civilized and workable. Just for clarification, this was heaven you were talking about wasn’t it? We have some companies that train their internet/telephone service staff par excellence, but I’ve dealt with some recently who could not care less and as there is no recourse without a nasty trip to the ombudsman and a two year wait for results you just have to swallow and buy the replacement from an opposition supplier when the target thing doesn’t work as it should. A good exercise session after that phone call is great for stress release. lol
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Yeah, sooner or later you’ll run across the company that breaks the system. I won’t claim a 100% hit rate but, for example, the case which prompted this has gone from “I hate you and I just wasted $1400!” to as of last night it seems to be resolved (touch wood – in the post etc apparently) within a few exchanges following these rules. So it can increase the odds substantially.
On the other hand, the health benefits of a good, frustrated workout shouldn’t be overlooked!
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Some great advice! My main problem is keeping the children at bay long enough to even get through to the appropriate agent!
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You have discovered the soft underbelly of my argument. In order to patiently persist you need to have time to be patient and persist. This is why I can’t get anything done with children, since the other ways tend to fail for me.
That said, I’ve had some success taking the whole family in to sort it out face to face. Amazing how motivated people can be to get small children out of their office.
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Sounds like you have the technique sorted – and your persistence (with your “little assets”) must earn points to motivate your face to face person to resolve this challenge! Very funny to read.
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My problems start when I’m trying to sort things out across continents!
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Ha ha now that is a genius idea!!!
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Woo hoo you broke the 2000 words barrier, welcome to the land of “long form writing”. That’s me, replace “form” with windedness and that’s me also.
Whilst I cannot reply in rhyme I can say that I have broken all the above, especially the asking to speak to a supervisor.
Oh that one I have pulled many times. I have to say that it’s a good card to play. First level support are nit-wits and you have to go up the chain in order to get whomever has the authority to cut the red tape. I’ve also gone as far as asking the supervisors, supervisor.
Nice touch on the basic record keeping lesson.
xo
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But have you actually got through to a supervisor that way? I’ve asked for a supervisor any number of times and my hit rate is exactly zero. But when I patiently persist until they decide to refer me up the chain of their own accord it works out well (but yes – a lot of the time it’s not until they do this that the problem gets solved).
I’ve broken all the others, too. All lessons learned the hard way – when I think back to my customer service negotiation failures I just shake my head.
Didn’t even realise I’d broken the 2000 word barrier but quite a few people have obviously picked up on it for me! Thanks for sticking with it! 🙂
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I also have the same problems and I am usually pretty calm. At the office where I used to work, we had a coffee maker that had a 3 yr warrantee It broke after 1 year and the office staff elected me to call customer service because I was the least explosive – I wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or they were suckering me into an unwanted job. I did as you suggested and ran through the whole troubleshooting routine with the CSR. In the end she thanked me and sent a brand new unit by courier at no charge and didn’t even want the old one back. It really does help to be kind and helpful.
On another front, I was the terminal manger at a freight company and i used to get the customer complaints. That was helpful as i had access to all areas and an understanding of how it all worked. We had a good customer called Behr Paints. At the time of this story they had an ad on TV where they trumpeted their Canadian ownership and showed various vignettes of Canada where the whole scene was one color. One such vignette showed a pair of beavers building their home and eveything was Behr Blue: the trees, the water, the beavers, the dam, the houses, etc. Anyway, i got a call one day from the Behr rep and he was furious. He said that two skids of paint were missing in transit and he demanded to know where they were. He insisted that someone had stolen his paint. I assured him that the shipment had not been stolen – that rarely happened. i told him I would look for the paint and get back to him. He was still upset and demanded to know how i was going to look for his paint. I am a pretty good judge of character so i took a chance and told him : “We are going to look for blue beavers and when we find them we’ll have found your paint.” There was a long pause on the other end of the line and then he cracked up laughing. Epilogue: the paint had been incorrectly labelled from his warehouse and had stopped in Montreal at our terminal while they tried to track down where it belonged. One phone call and it was sent to us and delivered to him the next day.
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You did take a chance on that last one! So glad you got away with it. Love it when people can take a breath and have a laugh. And the key then was you solved the problem, too – making a joke like that and later NOT solving the problem (or at least not showing a darn good try) would have really backfired.
Your coffee maker story is exactly what I’m talking about. Could be they genuinely voted you as Person Most Likely To Get The Job Done and not Biggest Sucker.
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Good point on the Blue beaver – I did load it so failure wasn’t an option. i’ll keep that in mind.
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“Wasn’t an option” is a strong way of putting it. But I think when you make a joke of something like that you have to be able to get across the idea that you are still serious about solving the problem. Knowing your audience helps a lot! Some people are more inclined to laugh at their misfortunes than others…
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Love the blue beavers
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I recognised the sense of humour 🙂
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Great suggestions. I’ve been known to walk through burning coals in my bare feet to avoid talking to customer reps. I am lucky, however, that my wife Peggy is an expert. Seriously, I appreciate the thought you put into the blog. –Curt
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A lot of the time I have got to the point where if they said walking through coals would fix it, I would happily take the coals rather than go through another exchange. I would be all like, “Do you have a coal type preference? Can you clarify quantity/hotness of coals? Can you tell me exactly what kind of evidence of coal walking you would need to see and in what exact format?”
Second thoughts, there’s still a lot of dealing with customer service in that…
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You are too funny. LOL I sat through a West African trial once that utilized a red hot machete. The machete hit the leg like a steak hitting a grill but there was no burn. –Curt
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Wait, what? West African trial of what?
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When I was a Peace Corps Volunteer… Here is the post: http://wandering-through-time-and-place.me/2013/01/02/chapter-27-trial-by-poisonous-leaves-and-a-red-hot-machete/
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Ok so… this? This is what the comments section is for. I am clicking through right now…
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Oh but I am probably going to run to the servo to get junk food before I sit down to read. (Just to explain any long delay in comments… which I’m sure you’ll notice…)
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Junk food, eh? Glad to know where I fit on the list. 🙂 Just kidding of course.
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Perfect! Your tap water example had me laughing.
I am currently in a battle with an airline that has said they refunded me but haven’t and refuse to answer my emails and when I call they tell me I have to use email. Fun times! I will have to try some of your steps… This has been going on for a year and a half! 😦
Awesome post as usually Bronwyn. 🙂
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The tap water example is real. I do not make this stuff up.
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(Alright I embellished it a little.)
Good luck with your airline thing… getting refunds is the worst. They put their least well-trained people on to that department, I swear. (Or maybe they do train them, but not in a way that is helpful to the customer…)
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Are you serious?! hahah. Now I am laughing even harder. Sorry
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The end of the story is that I gave up on them and called my father, who talked me through taking the tap apart and sorting out the problem over the phone. It was one of those mixer taps so the mixing wash’t happening properly because something inside was broken and stuck.
I did embellish a little as I’d only been using that particular tap for one year, not five, and the guy didn’t put me through quite that many steps but essentially yes, that’s what happened.
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My pet peeve is customer service reps who are not empowered to make even the smallest decision without consulting a manager. Why don’t companies realize this costs them time and money?
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Not only time and money, but it puts the person on the front line in a very demoralising position, so you get poor staff retention and then you end up in the situation where most of your customer service people started basically last week. Doesn’t help sort the problem! I’ve worked in places that made this mistake.
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You’re right, of course. People who are themselves respected pass that good feeling on to others.
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Bronwyn I too rarely read more than 2000 words on a post so bravo to you writer extraordinaire! I’m actually speaking at a conference this weekend on how to deal with distressed callers. Not always easy being on the other end of the phone with customers I’m afraid. 🙂
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Not easy at all, and it does require training and also practice. Unfortunately it seems too common for companies to provide little support and low pay which doesn’t always lead to the best outcomes… in any case, frustrating as it might be, it’s good to bear in mind that the person on the other end is probably actually trying their best under the circumstances.
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I agree Bronwyn that staff need to be given the coaching and mentoring when doing this challenging work. Having been a team leader/educator in a nursing call centre for five years I totally get that. When I am a customer I can always tell who has a good training program. 😊
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I’m so glad you’re teaching them 🙂 You really can tell who’s well trained, and these days I’m readier to fill out the customer feedback survey or write in to try and reinforce this good training!
Nursing call centres are particularly difficult because a lot of callers are distressed from the outset due to illness or injury and are therefore not in a good state to do any of the above. The onus really falls on the operator to take a step back, keep themselves from taking anything personally, and guide them through. So good luck with your conference! Hope you have an attentive audience (and/or enough small prizes to go around to perk them up 😉 )
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Prizes! Now that’s good advice 🙂 Thanks for the good wishes Bronwyn. A health care call centre is indeed higher stress as you point out. I hope I can share one or two wise words. 🙂
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I’m sure you’ll be able to! If you’d like another 2000 words on what frustrates me about the customer service experience just say. I might throw in a bonus extra 3000 just for free 🙂
Although as I said to nap time thoughts below, what struck me about this experience is that in the end the company I was talking to was not at all at fault and have been able to help out quite a bit (so far… still working on it). So the good news is that we have had a good customer service experience with them in the end.
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That is very good news Bronwyn. 🙂
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Fingers crossed!
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By the way, I removed some of my sticky posts to make the new ones slightly easier to find. Not sure if that’s enough – it’s still not a neat list – but at least new posts should be second row down and not further?
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Currently on my phone and the new post comes up at number 4. I think the challenge is finding a design hat works well for phones, tablets and computers. In the end Bronwyn its your blog so you make it however you like. On my computer and linking to the post from reader no problem at all.
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I’m the customer no one wants to get. I’m very sorry you make three dollars an hour to deal with me, but if your company has screwed me in some way, I will be obnoxious to you, acknowledge that its not your fault that I’m being obnoxious to you,and then be obnoxious to you some more. I’m horrible.
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Nooo! 🙂 The backstory to this is particular article is that the company we thought had made the mistake had done everything right. There was actually a second company involved and having sorted through all the paperwork I’m very glad I wasn’t obnoxious to the first person I emailed. They’re currently pulling out all the stops to help deal with the people who actually made the error.
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Yeeeeeah, that seems like an awful lot of work. Especially when I’m mad. Generally I prefer to abuse the poor schlub at the bottom of the food chain making 5 dollars an hour to take my shit. Yes, it’s wrong, but it’s so fulfilling. If I need something accomplished I make the husband do it.
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Ah! I knew you’d have a backup plan for getting things done. So you’re the bad cop to his good cop, in other words? I admit that can work, poor, minimum wage trodden-upon customer service employees aside.
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Yes. Necessity is the mother of invention.
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All very good clues 😊 I rarely have trouble with customer service people – I think because I am patient and kind. I always think about what it would be like to be on the other end of the phone. the thing is, I expect to get help, and I usually do.
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I think that really makes a difference. You do have to be persistent as well sometimes – it’s frustrating how often a simple thing with an apparently-obvious answer can take several rounds of exchanges, and how often the first suggestion won’t actually solve your problem. But keeping calm and focussing on that solution helps so much.
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Oh yes, you can’t give up 😀 I have had good success with ringing back and getting another operator as well!
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Why does that work? That should totally not work. But it does.
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This is marvellous! You are an oracle! Customer services are the pits, particularly over the phone, but I have taken notes and will follow appropriate protocol from here on in.
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Looking back I used to do things differently and get worse outcomes. Phone and email are definitely worse than face to face for getting things sorted out.
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The trouble is, by the time you’ve pressed all the option buttons and sat through on hold Muzak you’ve been driven to the brink of irrationality and delirium. It’s not a good starting point. Trying to deal with an advisor with a broad Glaswegian accent whilst suffering from jet lag in order to get our tv working was a particularly unpleasant experience as I recall. Why does it always have to be so hard?!
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Oh my goodness those menus. Yes, they should be carefully thought out and kept SHORT, for sure. Doesn’t get things started on the right foot…
The other one is Indefinite Hold, especially if you haven’t spoken to anyone first. This used to drive me crazy about one of my workplaces. They had two people answering phones and if both lines were engaged you just got put on hold in a queue. There was no limit to the queue, either – if a hundred people rung at once they’d just end up with a hundred-long queue.
The boss could not be convinced that customers would actually rather hear a busy signal and have to call back (although you can obviously get some very clever callback systems too).
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I’d definitely prefer a bust tone. Especially when they say ‘you’re call is important to us’ and you have no clue how long you’re going to have to wait and you’re acutely aware that you’re being charged to wait too.
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I knew what you meant – don’t worry! Although I did momentarily wonder what busts sounded like…
Do you know even just knowing your queue number is great. Then if you’re 87th – or if you’re only 5th but you’re not moving anywhere after fifteen minutes – you have that information to make a decision. Being charged by the phone company to wait definitely takes the irritation up a notch when you’re sitting there in the dark.
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I think if you had ‘bust’ tones you’d experience an even higher call rate from certain gentlemen with over active imaginations…Although there are already other phonelines offering a similar service. 😉 I think the sound they make would depend on the age and life experience of the woman attached to said bust!
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Yes… it does sound like a certain type of call centre there, doesn’t it?
The only tone I can accurately imagine is the nursing mother sucking/pumping tone.
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I once had to call a government department (eek) in order to persuade them to give me money (even more eek) and spoke to three different people, all of whom said different things. In the end, I spelt out the URL to their own website, letter by letter, so that they could read the page which stated that I was entitled to the money they said I couldn’t have. It was quite depressing to realise I knew more about their job than they did.
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Government departments! The trouble there I think is they have so very very many rules nobody can keep up with them, and a lot of departments seem pretty good at burning out and turning over their employees at a high rate, too… Politics…
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Customer Service Person: Speaking English
Me: Asking question in an annoyed/frustrated tone
CSP: Discovers they can’t speak English 🙂
Brilliant post! And it’s not often I read one over 2,000 words 😉
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Wow… that was over 2000 words? So I guess that says a great deal of what you need to know about the situation I kindly edited out for your convenience 🙂
I love it when people are selectively monolingual just to thwart me.
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It usually happens when you ask more than one question 😉 Hi, can I do … here? – Yes, but at this time on this day in this way. – But, I was told… – I don’t speak English (in English) 😉
I’m doing a German course soon – they won’t escape me that easily in future…
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Language is power. Except when confusion is power.
I was told…
Sorry, but I don’t speak English.
Alright then! I will consider this whole conversation a big misunderstanding and go with whichever information suits me better.
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You’ll probably get job offers after this 😉
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(I’m assuming we all speak sarcasm.)
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And rhyme 😉 But the football is on so I can’t focus right now 😉
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I had a recent comment-section poetry slam, so I’m not holding out too much hope of a follow up so soon.
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