Just Like The Wind

This post will be quick. Mainly to help create an illusion that my run was, likewise, speedy.

When I first heard about the 9th International Laguna Phuket “Family Run” I was full of enthusiasm and demanded to be signed up with both my children at once. Æ was dubious. “T? Really? She’s three. And you’re not packing a stroller?”

“I’ll carry her on my back!”

“Is this like how you spent your twenties ordering dishes with smoked salmon in them because you liked the thought of smoked salmon, and then as soon as your meal arrived you remembered you didn’t like eating smoked salmon at all?”

“That’s not true. The stuff we had in Bergen was quite tasty.”

“You’re missing my point.” His point (apparently) was that the 21k run started several hours earlier than the “Family Run” and even if he ran his worst time ever he’d probably make it back before we set off. “Do you see where I’m going?”

“You’re offering to run a half marathon and then take both our kids on a Family Run afterwards so I can relax?” He stared at me like a man who’d spent his twenties swapping dishes with a person who didn’t like smoked salmon but kept ordering it.

“I’m offering to watch our three-year-old while you take our six-year-old on the run.” Right.

There was only one hitch. When we picked up our packs on the Saturday afternoon, we found they’d renamed the run. It was no longer the “Family Run” but the “Kids’ Run”. And as if it wasn’t bad enough that my shirt had those words blazoned across it, it was also kid-sized and improperly punctuated.

The difficulty moving or breathing after I'd put it on was less of a deal-breaker than the missing apostrophe.

The difficulty I had moving or breathing after I’d put it on was less of a deal-breaker than the missing apostrophe.

Æ could not confirm the presence of other adult Kids’ Run-ners. I wondered if any of the costumed marathon animals would be finished with their outfits before the Kids’ Run began, whether said outfits would be too disgusting for words by then, and which, on balance, was worse?

But it turned out there were plenty of adults lined up along with me at the start line, encouraging our restless children to pass the time doing “warm up leg stretches” and “sure, pushups, why not?” and as far as I know, we all made it back triumphant, except for this one four-year-old, whose Dad P later accosted for a lengthy runners’ discussion in a restaurant across town on the basis that they were both wearing sports shirts.

Also, after the race we saw a green bug:

This is also the last known picture of T's left fish shoe, before it blew off the boat on our infamous James Bond Island trip the following day.

Last known image of T’s left fish shoe, before it blew off the boat on our infamous James Bond Island trip the following day.

So, obviously, totally worth it.

More efforts towards that speediness illusion.

More illusions of speediness.

Oh! P.S. Æ just advised (on reading my draft) that what people look for in articles about sporting events are details about the sport! Colour me unsporty (I’m not even sure what colour that would be). So:

P ran 0:18:51 over his 2k, finishing slightly ahead of me at 0:18:52. This (he’s been telling everyone) is better than his previous personal best, which was non-existent, so really it was a lot better.

Æ ran the 21k (half) at 2:06:32 which he describes as “unimpressive” but then he did have a flu in the lead up so we’ll blame it on that, and also his knee playing up from 10-15k and then suddenly feeling better again.

Stuff I learned about running with kids:

  • Let them do the pushups without mentioning that they won’t really be running on their hands.
  • It’s really hard to keep up with a competitive six year old who is weaving through the pack at the start of the race.
  • It’s almost impossible to tell a six-year-old that he’d be better off keeping a slow, steady pace than doing sprints interspersed with walks.
  • It’s probably a good idea not to attempt to single-handedly take a six-year-old and a three-year-old on a run without a stroller, even if your back is strong. (Clarification: I did not end up doing this. I realised it was crazy when Æ pointed it out to me. I just ran with the eldest one.)

If that’s still not enough, I swear you can see Æ’s back at 0:38 in this official video:

The post Just Like The Wind appeared first at Journeys of the Fabulist.

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