Diabolical Materialism
We had another one of those awkward conversations at school recently. The teacher usually starts off by asking if we teach P at home, and I usually say no until the the third time she asks, when I amend my answer to, “Not really on purpose, no. Why?”
The reason I respond to grazed knees by getting my three year old to draw life-sized anatomical diagrams of the human cardiovascular system is extreme social awkwardness, not desire to instill knowledge.
Then the teacher says something like, “It’s just, the other day he introduced the class to the concept of worker’s collectives.”
And I respond along the lines of, “Yes, well, of course we’ve covered the basics of Marxist philosophy. How else do you convince a four year old to help with the dishes?”
“I’ve always used sticker charts.”
“Well, there’s your problem.”
“Actually, my problem is he wasted a lot of class time arguing that it was dumb for everyone to complete a whole maths worksheet each when they could take one question per student, finish in a tenth of the time, and spend the rest of the afternoon hitting the playground.”
“And did you explain that he’d misunderstood the purpose of the task?”
“No, I drew up a sticker chart.”
“But what did they learn from that?”
“They learned maths.”
P’s teacher has expressed concern he’s going to run into a culture clash next year if he enrols in a Singaporean government school. She’s observed that he’s responded well to sticker charts and wonders if we can’t “coordinate strategies in order to improve consistency”. And, you know, it’s not that I’m opposed to the idea, it’s just, well, yes, actually it sort of is. Not the idea of coordinating strategies to improve consistency, but the idea of, well, sticker charts.
I hate sticker charts. That’s not entirely true: the child inside me hates sticker charts. My mother spent a considerable amount of my childhood trying to tell people that I really wasn’t such a pain in the neck, only they had to stop promising me treats if I behaved, perverse as that sounded.
“I don’t know how to manage her – I’ve tried every reward system in the book!” said my grade three teacher at their first interview, and my mother advised him to stop trying them and we started getting along fine. In grade four I broke a class reward system in under two weeks by consistently begging to be delivered the punishment rather than the reward whenever the teacher caught me being good. I didn’t enjoy primary school.
The adult in me is conflicted about sticker charts, because on the one hand reward systems are so popular and apparently useful, and on the other hand so viscerally repulsive. I have (in desperation) turned to several such systems in the past and found that they can lead to a) exhausting negotiations for more and better rewards and; b) should the level of rewards not increase at a satisfactory rate, the start of Operation Let’s Misbehave Something Fierce In An Attempt To Get Someone To Bribe Us Quite Heavily To Stop.
But even without these eventualities, one problem remains: every time P does behave well in exchange for a sticker, I lose a tiny bit of respect for him. It’s as if this sticker-fetishism is eroding the definite social relation between us.
Plus I have to give a lecture on how the last reason he should do anything is because someone promised him a sticker and then follow up with my father’s old line about how, in this house, we expect our kids to be good for nothing – which, really, is any amount of doing what he’s told worth that bad a pun?
So I just don’t know if I can make sticker charts work for me, much less for the school. What should I do? I seem to be at one of those critical junctures in my parenting experience where I could really use at least three more suggestions for how-to books on parenting and perhaps a couple on parent-school relationships (to keep me entertained until the whole phase blows over).
Maybe also some reassurance that the behaviour management policies of Singaporean primary schools aren’t entirely based on stickers – because I’m not sure it’s best for me to start teaching him at home, really on purpose.
The post Diabolical Materialism appeared first at Journeys of the Fabulist as a tribute to Labour Day, 2014.
I empathize. I tried the stickers system for a week and then a) got bored by them and b) it defeated the whole purpose of explaining why they should this or that . Surely life is more colorful and subtle that a bunch of stickers. My kids are not school age but I am dreading when I am going to have this type of conversations with their teachers. By the way your kids sound uber uber smart. Xo
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Well, as I admitted to Free But Fun, I buffed them a bit on this one because I was trying to fit with the labour day theme. I usually try to keep that to a minimum, so just this once 🙂 .
Hopefully you don’t end up having many awkward conversations with school teachers – I get the impression there’s a growing emphasis in schools on intrinsic methods (Where’s Sharon and her 2000 word essay for her teaching degree).
Love hearing that you just get bored with sticker charts, though. I think there’s a real element of that in my dislike – now you mention it!
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I love reading articles where mum’s are still figuring out what’s the right thing to do bringing up their kid – makes me feel normal!
I use sticker charts, but as Cate says, only intermittently. The first sign the bad behaviour has stopped/changed I stop using them.
But they only work on my eldest kiddy (who’s four), the little one (two and a half) laughs in my face when I try to use them on her! Still haven’t figured out what to do for her, and can’t wait till the terrible twos kick in properly! Currently revising for that beautiful moment (ie, reading loads of posts like this to see what other mums do!).
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And they change at different ages, too! That’s the tough part.
Hope the terrible twos aren’t too terrible the second time around. I reckon you must have learnt a few tricks other than stickers from the first, so you’ll be well in front this time.
It is good to hear from others who are still figuring it out, isn’t it?
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I’ve never liked sticker charts either, and have always expected my children to do what’s expected of them without a reward. So at home, that’s how we are.
But at school, if the teachers used sticker charts, or coupons, or some kind of point system, then I figured, so be it. I’ve always told my children that they must respect authority (whether I agreed with the teacher’s system or not) and that they’d have to get used to dealing with all sorts of different people/teachers/bosses, some of whom will be wonderful and inspiring, and some that won’t.
You never know what will resonate with one child and not another.
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I like that line about learning to deal with different types of authority figures. Kids are actually really effective at learning to “manage” (manipulate?) their authority figures from an amazingly young age – teaching them how to respond constructively to a variety of personality types seems as if it should be within their reach.
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If only schools would teach kids more about the real world then everything you teach them as parents would be more in-sync with what they learn at school, better preparing them for what awaits out there.
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School is definitely a strange, strange place. I once had an argument with someone which include the defence “well at school there’s a rule that…” to which I could only reply “thank goodness the whole world isn’t run like a school!”
On the other hand, I can see that they often do things in response to the strange circumstance of having large groups of same-age peers under the command of one or two adults, so I’m not sure where the right balance is sometimes. It’s just a pretty weird place.
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I am very impressed by P’s ideas to complete the maths sheet – very clever!!
As someone who was recently forced to write a painful 2000 word essay on the importance of intrinsic motivation in the education system as part of my teacher training here in Australia, I feel that the teacher is missing the point.
Regardless, as a parent I think we often have to do what works. Sticker charts do not work here at all, but rewards can be quite successful. I have had to recently up to quite big rewards to finally get my nearly 4 year old to finally go through most days without wetting her pants. I wish there was a way around this but apart from waiting another year or two, I had no other hope!!
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I don’t want to be unfair to P’s current teacher. We did have a conversation recently with her about stickers but as I admitted to Vilma of Free But Fun above I was trying to stretch it into a Labour Day theme so I borrowed heavily from a different conversation I had with a different teacher (who I think was, yes, missing the point).
I do think there’s a time for just preserving your sanity as a parent and getting the job done. It’s interesting so many people are bringing up toilet training – seems to be the one we’ll give a free pass to! Although I’m also a little dismayed to hear your 4yo is still not quite dry – we have been so close for so long with our 3yo and I’m hoping she magically just gets it in the very near future. It was so easy the first time around! Fully dry day AND night by 2.5yo!
Currently I stand by what I said about when and where rewards are good to use in the conversation with Know It All (and a bit more with Cate) by which toilet treats are fine. However, I reserve the right to sometimes revise this at the 5pm witching hour when I really just need to drink wine and/or crawl into my room. 🙂
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I totally agree about sticker charts- yet i tried them anyway- the ‘experts’ must be right after all – i assumed. After two days my daughter was over stickers. So i upped it to chocolate buttons. Two days later she was sick of chocolate buttons. So to blueberries, two days later she was passing some weird looking poos and yes, sick of blueberries.. This is when i quit the bribery. I still have no idea how to get her to do stuff she doesn’t want to do (it’s the luck of the draw) but at least she still has my respect!!!!
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Well, that’s step one. I’ve heard a lot of people say “you just have to find their currency” but I’m not so sure the whole idea of being bought off didn’t stink to me as a child. Maybe I was just contrary (or maybe I’m remembering it wrong) 🙂 . I did enjoy respect, though.
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Bronwyn, I have to admit that I had no idea what sticker charts were. Maybe they existed in my childhood and they were not worth remembering, but maybe our education system simply relied on other teaching methods. In any case, I am much rather in favor of your non-purposeful home teaching. It can’t be a bad thing if kids learn to think outside the box from an early age on, instead of simply following your described sticker-fetishism. So if worst comes to worst, you really should consider your purposeful means of education and instead avoid the teacher conversations… 🙂
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Yes, there’s always that option! It crosses my mind that we could always go DIY if things really aren’t working out, but we’ll see how we go.
A sticker-free education system sounds wonderful. If you remember what they used instead, let me know!
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Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve nominated you for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award: http://aspoonfulofstyle.co.uk/2014/05/01/thank-you-for-the-awards/
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Thanks! I’m honoured. Will click through now to see who I can meet!
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Ohh sticker charts…didn’t work for us either. Max liked them for about three days and then didn’t think they were worth the bother (we didn’t even try it for Alex). It’s a hard one. P sounds like he is very strong willed and will do what he thinks best. I am sure he will be a) told it is not how we do things here, when he get to big school and he will conform OR b) be told you can’t talk like that here and he will argue the point. Honestly, I love that he stands out, he sounds like a very smart kid who doesn’t need to fit into a box…or do I have it all wrong?
Sticker charts suck in my opinion
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Yes! The can’t-be-bothered after a few days situation was what we had with the toys (in reply to Christy, above).
And strong willed? Uhuh. Yes. Very much so. I remember someone asked about baby proofing on a message board once and a parent replied and said oh no, you don’t have to child-proof, just tell them “no” and redirect them! And went on as if parents everywhere were pretty dumb for childproofing when all they needed was this one, simple trick. I laughed. I kind of wanted to invite them around to babysit for a day.
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Ha,ha yes I love it when pArents of older kids give out advice…they just don’t remember, well I can’t remember what they were like when they were three anyway. I do remember I lost a lot of my spices to the floor when Alex was three 🙂
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If I remember correctly it was worse – it was the mother of one, very easy-going toddler giving advice to the mother of *two* children, the second of whom was one of those determined little ones. The mother-of-two was kind of like, um, yeah, glad that works for you so far… moving along, though…
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Actually I do love sticker charts and they work remarkably well with my kids, young kids I mean. My 9 yo is starting to show signs of outgrowing stickers. The stickers really get them going but the chart cannot last more than 3 months I would say, which is exactly my intention as by the 3rd mth of implementation, they should be doing that task automatically. However, having said that, they do need reminders after some weeks later, but the overall results are still better than the initial headache. I certainly do not recall much of stickers reward charts in my primary school days. Those days, punishment was more than praises. And in Singapore context, yes, parents teach their children on purpose. You must be the laid back kind of mum which in my opinion is awesome in your own way. My own mum was laid back and we turned out well. In fact, I am trying to be as laid back as I can 😛
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Yes, I remember you with that printable chart (I thought about trying to use it, too, it looked good in theory but in the end I just couldn’t). I was actually hoping you wouldn’t be offended – it’s not that I think sticker charts are all bad and wrong but I did hate them when I was a kid and I can’t seem to get over it.
(For the record, my mother is on record above saying she used them in her brownie guide pack (and I know she also used them for my younger sister) – it was more or less just me!)
I have a question for you, though – do your kids complain when the rewards stop coming? Because I have had fallout when trying to wean them off. How do you stop? Do you warn them up front that it’s only for x amount of time or something?
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Don’t worry, I am not offended at all. In fact, to implement the chart is not really so easy as sometimes the rules that I laid out seemed wrong and had to be changed when there are conflicts. I don’t really need to wean the kids off it. They just got bored and it became such that I got too busy to give them the stickers nightly and it became a few nights once when I hand out the stickers. After a while, they stop recording the charts and that’s when we take off the charts completely. By then, it had become a routine to them already.
I often told those who want to do sticker charts to be as consistent as possible and lay down as few simple rules as possible. If achieving 10 stickers yield a small gift (state the value like nothing more than $2) or a game at the archade, then it shall be 10 stickers. No bargain.
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Ok, so it seems like you keep going until the whole thing becomes folded into the routine, so a sort of habit-forming model. I can definitely see the sense in keeping it simple.
Three months, though, hey? Hm. I’m remembering the time we had a clean-your-room-and-you-get-TV-time reward system at the end of the day, and after two or three weeks P voluntarily offered to give up his toys so he didn’t have to tidy any more and could just watch TV all day. I’d definitely have to think it through carefully to avoid any unintended consequences. On the other hand – easiest decluttering of the kids’ room ever.
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Ideally I should not be saying anything on this one..but, do I look like someone who can keep his mouth shut?? 😛 I agree to your point…I believe, there is a serious flaw in the whole system of reward system..stickers or whatever…if the child starts expecting the rewards for doing the right thing…there will come a time, when the present rewards will not be attractive enough..and you may have a situation wherein you do not have a good enough incentive…to be good! And, do we really want children to expect something in return for anything they do? I sure hope not…
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You shouldn’t be saying anything? Whyever not? I’m glad it didn’t stop you 🙂 .
Yes, that’s the tricky part. Cate said above the idea is to basically set the habit and then withdraw the reward. I’ve had some problems with the withdrawal side of the equation but that could be poor technique and/or not a good match for a particular child.
But actually I think my big problem is I just hated them so much when I was a kid I can’t quite bring myself to do it, all other arguments about the merits or detriments of such a system aside!
The ultimate aim does need to be intrinsic motivation, as Cate put it.
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Haha…i shouldn’t be saying…because I have No experience in parenting, so am not at all qualified…but then again..I am know-all 😛
Just to continue on the thread, I have serious objections to the whole idea of give and take…getting rewarded for doing something nice…is good, if it comes as a surprise…am not sure if intrinsic motivation can be brought about by temptation! Sorry if i sound archaic…but, that’s how i feel about it! 🙂
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You were a *kid* once, though, right? I specifically remember you saying 😉 .
I suspect you can use rewards correctly in certain situations (and I’m not sure I’m the best authority on this but here goes – we might as well both go out on a limb!).
I know I promise myself a reward sometimes for getting something done that just can’t be avoided. Sort of a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down etc. So I think you could probably do that with kids and get away with it.
And I think there’s a time and a place for using them in a more Pavlovian sense when it’s a matter of training good habits. This sort of happens naturally when you practice at something and get “rewarded” for achieving your goal when you do it right (e.g. shooting a basketball through a hoop – the reward is a goal, your mind and muscles gradually learn to shoot more accurately) and a little bit of artificial motivation – judiciously used – I mean I can see that it would come up and then you’d have the skill and you wouldn’t need to be trained any more.
But using reward systems in place of teaching morals/basic consideration/self-control etc is problematic. Sometimes I think it’s a fine line.
If Cate comes back it’d be good to hear her thoughts on this. You know I feel clearer and calmer about reward systems after writing this – sometimes it’s good to have someone willing to play devil’s advocate against. Thanks!
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I think you have got it spot on…at least spot on as far as my opinion on the topic is concerned…I think rewards are very very powerful in their ability to motivate…but they cannot be used for everything…definitely not for character building! BTW, happy to see you use Mr. Pavlov’s example…i take shelter in his dog’s behaviour many a times! 😀
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Ha! Only the appropriate times, I hope 🙂 .
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We had a smiley face/sad face system for the kids at the school I worked at in Poland. I hated it. 🙂 You ended up spending more time arguing about who was in charge of the board, and what merited a face and what didn’t than actually teaching the kids! I just wanted them to have fun learning, not be rewarded/punished and all ratting each other out for the sake of a face!
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Oh! And the ratting each other out! Drives me absolutely crazy. I mean sure, time and place etc.
But yes, the system isn’t working at the point where it’s actually reducing the amount of learning going on. A system that’s improving things is different.
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Teachers can usually get the sticker reward system to work reasonably well for them because most kids only question and try to push the boundaries of the idea when they are at home and trying to get round their parents.
As a youth leader I could get my Brownies to behave perfectly and I used the sticker system to my advantage but, as a mother I would have to listen to complains of ‘that’s not fair – this is the way it should work’ until I suggested that perhaps it would be a good idea if they spent some time alone in their bedrooms before we both did something we would later regret.
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I remember A’s sister talking about how much more willing nephew is to fall in line at school. You’re saying it’s the old “but mum and dad have to keep me no matter what” notion?
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Having been homeschooled, I was constantly surrounded with children who were taught, rewarded, punished in different ways. Not one parent taught the same way, even using the same curriculum at times. I don’t know how I will deal with Z being forced to conform to a set standard in a public school… I may have to homeschool her. I love the way you are teaching your children real life intelligence. Don’t give up!
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Well, I mean, in society we have to conform to a set of standards, and for good reason, so it’s not the conforming to set standards I have a problem with.
Some of the specific rules at primary school don’t seem to have much relevance to the outside world, but generally I get how they work in the school environment, and I guess as long as they’re teaching the over-arching “let’s all try to get along” that’s ok.
It’s good to hear your experience – you no doubt saw a bit more variety in techniques on the homeschool front than in a state school system. Did you have a protocol for managing differences if one parent took over the group for a bit?
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I just have a hard time with the way (American) schools tend to teach children as if they all learn the same way. Whether it is curriculum or life skills.
Most of the time, we didn’t have other teachers (parents) until we were in junior high or high school. Then it was pretty structured, often like a regular class (I would assume at least). Most of the time the teachers were more prepared and expectant of different personalities and had the chance to treat each student as an individual.
I am only talking about schools in California in America though. Maybe other areas are better. 😉
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I’m sure a lot of teachers would defend their methods by talking about the different ways they present material to give each individual a chance to “get it” (I won’t comment on schools specifically in your area in your day – I’d expect some teachers/classrooms cater to a wider range of students than others). It’s a big juggle with large classes, though.
I’ve heard conflicting things about Singaporean schools in this regard. The cliche is that the system’s too rigid, but a lot of parents have told me teachers will take the time to nut out why a student may be struggling and help them individually, so I’m optimistic.
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Not that I know anything, but sounds like you’re doing awesome. Your son and daughter sound amazing and like they will grow up to be smart, wonderful human beings. In the mean time, I have no idea about the consistency problem or explaining why Marxism won’t always work in the classroom.
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Let’s hope so! Thanks for the vote of confidence. I’m not sure you’re getting a balanced view from reading this blog, but let’s gloss over that 😉
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I really love this post. How can I use an explanation of the rise and fall of The American Century (or similar) to convince my three year old that he really does want to get on board with potty training? I desperately turned to chocolate bribery last week and it was a complete failure.
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Hm. You’re saying he doesn’t understand the parallel between the American Century and his golden age of hygiene assistance? That’s a tricky one, but the moral’s definitely the same. Keep working on that. Let us know how it goes.
To be honest, toilet training is the area we’ve most readily turned to treats. The 3yo seems to have developed the motto “will pee for lollies” which she turns to every time we try to reduce her bribes.
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An interesting angle on stickers and the associated fetishism Bronwyn. I am not a parent, and can’t offer any advice, but I do love your Dad’s “good for nothing” idea, because that was sort of the way I was raised. My Mom and Dad were old-fashioned traditionalists when it came to kids. We were expected to behave “because I said so”, and around our house there was no carrot and stick – just the stick. I wouldn’t say that their methods were the best, but I do know how to behave. ~James
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And another parenting debate bites the dust under the weight of so many people confirming they grew up alright anyway in the end 🙂 .
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Bronwyn I am digging into my brain stem to try to recall my children’s early school days. I think there were sticker rewards but we didn’t use them at home. I certainly don’t think you are doing your children harm by not providing stickers at home that’s for sure. My 26 and 29 year old don’t seem to have turned into axe murderers or anything due to lack of gold stars. 🙂
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There must be lots of ways to skin the old cat, so to speak. I was wondering what a good middle ground was but your example seems to suggest it might not be necessary – just one system in one place and a different system elsewhere worked ok.
Why did your kids turn into axe murderers if not due to lack of gold stars, do you think? (Wow, that was actually more lame than the good-for-nothing line.)
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Bronwyn I think we just told our kids that at school that was the system and at home we had our own system. We did our best to heap praise by the truckload when they were doing the ‘right thing’. We avoided punishment like the plague and did a LOT of talking as I think you are doing with your kids. There is no perfect way to parent. Just keep giving the love, model the way, teach kindness and breathe deeply. Tada!! No axe murderers. 🙂
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Maybe I’ll end up just going with that. I really think I do more harm than good when I try to use sticker charts, but if the teacher can make good use of them in the classroom I’m not going to complain.
A lot of boys P’s age take a while to adjust to classroom life and my impression is he’s getting there, and it’s a good thing primary school in Singapore starts a little later than it does in Australia.
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Bronwyn my kids never fit into the ‘normal’ of the classroom. It’s tough as a Mom when you feel, or sometimes made to feel, that there is something wrong with them. Go with what you feel works best for the kids.
This parenting is hard stuff, so extremely rewarding and valuable, but hard none the less.
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Well I have to say I enjoyed school more as I went along, so perhaps I’ll just cling to that (and your reassurance that fitting in at primary school doesn’t necessarily mean failure for life).
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Oh heavens the stress put on parents regarding these early years.. Really it was easier 25 years ago. I’m sending you some deep breaths and an hour of meditation. 🙂
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A full hour! Uninterrupted? 🙂
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Yes a full 60 minutes ….as far as blogging as long as it’s calming so no more writing about the teacher:)
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🙂
I should say I really appreciate the effort the teacher’s going to in order to try and prepare P suitably for primary school (even if I can’t quite bring myself to start up with the sticker charts at home).
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For sure. I couldn’t be a teacher of small children for more than 15 minutes. 🙂
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P.S. Can I use it for blogging?
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Bronwyn, you are going to do fine with whatever you use! Sticker charts can be great for chores or toilet training (more short term behaviors until they are established). No harm though if a person continues to use them. When my kids were young, I had a bag of tricks. I like to mix it up!
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It seems to me that, for all the great things you can say about technique X or Y, mixing it up is a key piece of advice. They outgrow one technique, get tired of cooperating with another, face different challenges and situations as they age, etc etc. Best to have a wide range of options!
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Stickers are extrinsic reinforcement. If you read Piaget and intrinsic reinforcement, as well as the principles of behavioral modification, you will see that an appropriate use of stickers would be temporary. Extrinsic reinforcers are used to change behavior but really should be used intermittently once the behavior is firmly established. Eventually, they should be withdrawn completely and the child hopefully will experience the intrinsic feeling of accomplishment without receiving an external reward. Extrinsic reinforcers can be as simple as verbal praise. As a teacher, I believe that the utilization of stickers has reached “epidemic proportions!” You should never have to apologize for who your child is and how they learn. I am interested in the Singaporean primary schools’ philosophy. I will do a bit of research!
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I’d be soooo proud of p and his ability to adjust knowledge based on history! I see the problem though, not wanting to create friction with the school and of course there was some maths to be learned too… would it have been a problem if you had taught him on purpose? I thought that would’ve been a good thing!
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I admit I’ve embellished this one a bit to make it fit into a Labour Day theme 🙂 . The bit about the awkward conversation on sticker charts is true, and I’ve based the dialogue on a real conversation, but P wasn’t that articulate about it all.
We did really use that argument to convince him to do the dishes when he was four, though.
I interpret the “do you teach him at home?” question as a sort of cross between “I’m just wondering where he’s getting all this from?” and “you’re an awesome parent and I appreciate your efforts!” said as a prelude to “but can I just ask you a couple of favours?”. It’s my impression that most parents in Singapore try and teach their kids stuff at home and it’s usually smiled upon.
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@ Cate The problem I’ve seen when trying to transition from consistent to intermittent rewards is the kid basically throwing a tantrum because the rules have changed and he’s not getting his whatever every time any more. Oh the confusion and betrayal! Not sure what Piaget would say to me about that one (if you have any advice, please do share it!)
I’m sure the Singaporean primary schools are varied in their philosophy like everywhere else – but if you turn up any general trends, let me know! There are cliches out there but I get conflicting feedback about how true they are.
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You have some great questions! If kids start feeling intrinsic reinforcement, they don’t care as much about the stickers. That’s the goal. It does feel good inside to achieve success. As adults, we will not receive an intrinsic reinforcer for each behavior we perform. If the kid throws a tantrum, they may be “over-reinforced.” A parent or teacher can always encourage by giving positive feedback and helping them to work toward the next reinforcer. There is a thing called an “extinction burst” when a kid does not receive the thing they want. No one is perfect, but when a kid is rewarded for tantrumming, they will tantrum again to receive what they want. It ain’t pretty! P.S. I did a bit of research about the schools, but haven’t found consistent trends yet.
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Thanks for all your replies. I appreciate your thoughts.
A quick survey of my memory says it’s the instances that don’t present much intrinsic reinforcement where we have all the problems, which I guess would make sense.
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This is an awesome post, and for the record I hate reward charts too 🙂 You are a fabulous mama!
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So many people love them. And so many reporting these great results out of them! I’m glad it’s not just me going against the grain – there have to be at least a few of us around.
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School might be tough but he’ll hit the real world running. When my daughter was in first grade and talking during class, the teacher moved her right up next to her desk with the suggestion that “she could move back when she was ready to sit with the group.” Talk about not understanding my kid. She was in the front! She was never going back to the group.
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Funny how one child’s punishment is another child’s reward. Teachers have it tough!
Definitely what you said about the real world, though. The aim is not really to prepare them for endless school, unless we’re grooming them to be career academics, which actually might explain some things about career academics. (Some of my closest relatives etc. 🙂 )
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Oh wow. I enjoyed reading this post. I love how you teach your kids about helping out at home! I almost forgot about the sticker system in school – we had gold/red/green/whatever colour stars put next to our names for doing something (I don’t remember what). I didn’t care too much about them. After all, I could buy my own stickers!
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Ha! Yes. Being able to buy your own stickers would have removed much of the incentive. I’m sure you didn’t need stickers anyway, on account of being such a perfectly behaved child 🙂 .
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Of course 😉 We also had ‘Singa the Courtesy Lion’ badges that were given out to those who were well behaved. But I talked too much in class to ever get the honour of wearing one!
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