Medellin, Las Lajas Sanctuary and the Amazon River
It’s the end of the school year in Singapore, and P has begun the long and agonising transition to holiday mode. Anyone would think he was transitioning to “destitute mode” or “orphan mode” by the way he’s carrying on, and don’t think I haven’t daydreamed once or twice about faking the latter.
Then I got a better idea. After my curiously-popular Rope Roadways of Chiatura post, a couple of people (hi Blackberry Boys and Other Reader!) wrote to tell me about the cable-car-inclusive metro system of Medellin, and later, I got a tip-off about Las Lajas, towards the border with Ecuador.
Combine that with the continued activity of kidnappers in Colombia and it just seemed obvious. I’m yet to find the section of Tripadvisor which recommends soft, low-budget guerrillas who will negotiate timely releases in exchange for rather meagre life savings and never kill anyone – who’d want to live under the stress of that uncertainty? – but I’m still looking into it and in the meantime I’ve made quite a decent list of reading materials to fill my hostage days. I’ve even drawn up a social media plan for the launch of my memoir.
Intended for: Mum and Dad, but not the grandparents, who will be required to stay back to console the children and make impassioned pleas to the media.
Overview: A fairly random journey which takes in two awesome-sounding sites people have troubled themselves to email me about; a sojourn though kidnapping territory (the risks vary across regions with some claiming to be relatively safe, so careful planning will be necessary to maximise our chances); and finishing with a gentle and lengthy cruise down the Amazon River.
Strengths: I’ll finally be able to say a proper thank you to everyone who offered me Colombian travel tips. We’ll get to see some of South America – a region we’ve never visited. And we won’t have to go through HR to clear the extended leave from work.
Forseeable difficulties and mitigating strategies: The gentle and lengthy Amazon River cruise at the end may prove to be a poor media strategy in terms of garnering sympathy for a harrowing adventure, and thus negatively impact book sales. We will have to hire a good PR agent to put the right spin on it.
There’s also a chance that being held hostage by Colombian Drug Lords is more harrowing than supporting a five-year-old through the transition to school holiday mode, but just tonight I have a severe case of temporal discounting over it. (Pleasedon’taskaboutmyday.)
Also, the roads are apparently not all good. Bring motion sickness tablets!
Estimated Price Bracket: Expensive. Our life savings may be meagre relative to most ransoms, but they are still our life savings.
Itinerary:
Days One, Two
- Fly Singapore -> Medellin (36hrs, 2 stops – but one of them is a full day in Paris, so, awesome!)
- Overnight on plane/in Medellin.
Days Three, Four
- Recover from flights.
- Sightseeing around Medellin by public transport, including the famous metro-cable.
- Overnight Medellin.
Day Five
- Bus Medellin -> Ipiales (20hrs, if you’ll believe that). It’s recommended to fly rather than take the bus over mountainous Colombian roads, especially in the wet season, during which some roads can become blocked due to flooding. Not only that, but airfares don’t cost much more than road travel (I mean yes, up to five times more, but if my high school maths serves me correctly, five times almost-nothing is not-too-much). However, where’s the fun? Don’t you want the chance to arrive at your destination after a full day’s motion-sickness with a fully saturated suitcase?
- Overnight… well you’re pretty much on the bus, aren’t you?
Day Six
- Recover from bus travel.
- Overnight Ipiales.
Day Seven
- Take a look at Las Lajas Sanctuary, marvelling in its unusual architecture and compelling legend.
- Short taxi rides to and from the Sanctuary.
- Overnight Ipiales.
Day Eight
- This is the bit where, when I started writing this post, we went looking for someone to kidnap us for a few/ten months. Some time and a glass of wine later, that seems melodramatic. Instead, let’s just hop on a plane and fly Ipiales -> Letitia (via Bogota).
- Overnight Letitia.
Days Nine, Ten (Eleven?)
- There are fast boats (10-12hrs) and slow boats (2-3 days) from Letitia to Iquitos, Peru. Of course we’ll take the slow boat, like one.last.year.of.freedom, who gives his advice. (Wouldn’t want to rush it, would we, grandparent-babysitters?) I’m picturing something like this.
- Overnight on slow boat.
Day Eleven/Twelve
- Make the most of our time on dry land in Iquitos.
- Overnight Iquitos.
Days Thirteen to Thirty-One
- Downstream Amazon River Cruise from Iquitos to Belem. A quick google brings up a number of websites. The usual cruise length seems to be sixteen to eighteen days.
- Write blog posts in lieu of hostage memoirs. Wildlife spotting. Visit “traditional” Amazonian villages.
- Overnight on cruise boat.
Days Thirty-Two, Thirty-Three, Thirty-Four
- Fly Belem -> Singapore (43 hours plus the time zones are against us, 4 stops)
- Smile wearily at P and pack him back off to school.
Related:
My favourite Amazonian Basin blog (disclosure: I only read one Amazonian Basin blog – but it’s fascinating!) is Earth2Mother.
I don’t currently read any Colombian blogs, but feel free to recommend some – or add any other pointers.
You’re so funny! And adventurous! Have missed coming here to read your posts! I now send out a sincere wish to the universe to increase your life savings by many folds so you may troop over to south America.
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Well, I might pass on the savings if it means NOT getting kidnapped, but if I can have both, all the better 🙂
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Completely hilarious, and oh so clever! Getting myself kidnapped.. now why didn’t I think of that?!
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Probably because it’s really, really ill-advised 😉 . But we can romanticise it over a glass of wine, surely.
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Cheers to that!
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Haha, first I was thinking I may have to get your kidnappers to make a detour via Hel so I can join you. But then i realised that we have a long girls weekend flights booked (more later…), so maybe i just now need to use your strategy for nerve restoring. Perfect for Friday 🙂
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Ooh, girl’s weekend? That sounds like an even better idea! I will look forward to hearing about it. Until then – wine (and blogging)!
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I would of sent my 11 yr old on that trip last week….by himself. However a glass or two of wine later and the lights switched off I have decided he can stay a bit longer. How long are school hols? Please don’t tell me until Feb 😉
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Seven weeks long. But four of those are in Australia with family, so not that bad. He’s finally human again today – it’s taken him the best part of a week to make the adjustment, though.
I’m a little disheartened to learn that you are still experiencing it at 11yo, but not entirely surprised. Most adults I know well have had bad enough days to make me think of packing them off somewhere. I seem to remember not always getting along with my parents at much older than 11, too.
I’m just glad we both have wine!
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Good to hear things are back on track. Glad to hear your home for some of that time otherwise you could be a wreck (I would be!!).
It is a whole different type of ‘mood’ at 11yrs. I get it, I wasn’t to fabulous when I was 13 but you don’t remember that when they are beating you down with words and smart words…words that you want to shove right back at them and worse, however, someone has to be the grownup Deep breaths, and then they are wonderful again 🙂
Happy Days!
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I’m glad you ended with that “wonderful” bit 😀 . Ah, the age-old pushing of boundaries. There must be an easier way to grow them up (only I’m sure if there was we’d have heard about it by now).
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Oh no, the book isn’t going to sell without the kidnapping!
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We’ll have to make sure we don’t give up our day jobs 🙂 .
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We are hoping to travel in South America after we go home to visit our families next year. I think you may have given us our travel plan! 🙂
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Well I would skip the 20hr bus ride with a small child and take a shorter cruise on the Amazon, but I’m sure you’re more than capable of tweaking the itinerary to your requirements. Definitely don’t do the kidnapping. 🙂 I’ll look forward to reading about your experiences, that’s for sure!
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P, the adventurer, may just have plans to rescue you on that raft.
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He seems to be more or less human again this morning. I daresay he’d be most upset if we went down the Amazon River without him – given his recent interest in it. (The suggestion has nothing to do with your desire to avoid being a grandparent-babysitter to an emotional 5yo for the whole school holidays, I take it.)
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You are awesome. Love this!
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And what have you been up to? I keep waiting for another post to pop up from you. 🙂
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You are way too funny! 🙂 I like your plan, and 35 days away from the children would be relaxing 🙂 I think South America must be really cool. I would really love to go some day, I just have to save some more money for Ransome 🙂 Well anyway my brother has been to Colombia a couple of times, and luckily no ransome, but he has colombian friends so maybe that helps…
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The travel advice from the Australian government is actually just “caution” – they’re not advising against travel to the country itself (although they are advising against it in certain regions). Medellin, in particular, seems to be pretty safe in terms of crime/etc. I think you just have to be aware and do your research. It probably does help to have locals to guide you.
I’m a bit jealous of your brother! Did he see any of the things mentioned here or other things (no doubt just as interesting)?
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I am bit jelous of my brother too 🙂 He has done lots of travelling lately. In September he wento to China (where he saw the great wall), South Korea (where he went to the Formula 1 race) and Hong-Kong. I will have to ask him if he has been to any of your destinations beside Medellin. He want to build a laboratory there, he is a scientist. He has been to Bogota, and Brasil and perhaps Peru. But for sure he has not done the cruise on the Amazon.
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Now I’m very jealous of him 🙂 .
He’s been to Brazil and Peru and not done a cruise on the Amazon? But he’s been *on the Amazon* in some form or other, right? Local ferry? Fishing boat? Home-made raft?
Of course he’s been to Medellin and that’s how you knew about the cable cars (smacks forehead). It sounds like a nice city, quite up and coming.
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